As regular readers know, I get sick of the gay issue. Especially the “TEH GAY” issue. But what the hell. I seem to be stuck with it and no matter what I do, there exists a demand for gay related posts. What I find a little disturbing is that the demand is not created only by gay readers. Far from it. According to recent statistics demand at this blog for gay content in recent months has been heavily driven by anti-gay readers.
As I am not anti-gay, I find myself in a bit of a conflict of interest here, but the important thing in blogging is to be entertaining and generate traffic, right? If that is the goal, then should I not be pandering to the anti-gay readers too? Or would that be dishonest of me? I am always open to ideas, and advice on my tired, brokeback ethics is always appreciated lest I become too…. what’s the word? Overcompromised?
Anyway, a very helpful regular reader whose name should probably be kept out of this noticed a remark I probably should not have made about trying to put more gay stuff in my posts, and while that was not a promise, the helpful emailer sent me a link to an amusing post by Ed Driscoll about gay beer:
“Mexican brewery unveils first gay beer,” according to the Telegraph:
The beer, which has a slight honey flavour, will initially be marketed to homosexual consumers in Mexico, Colombia and Japan.
The Minerva brewery said that the “Artisan Honey-Ales” would appeal to a section of the beer-drinking public that had so far been snubbed by larger brewers.
“We’re out in the market with great respect with the idea of offering a product directed to the gay-lesbian community that has been ignored for too long but is important and very demanding”, Dario Rodriguez Wyler, commercial manager for distributors Bodega 12, told the Mexican news agency Efe.
The label on the beer bottles has been designed so that it can be unglued and worn as a symbol of gay-lesbian pride, he said.
And if you think that’s bad, Ed really rubs it in, with a SNL video many anti-gay conservatives would deem unsuitable for The Children! The subject?
Schmitt’s Gay beer.
WARNING THAT ED DRISCOLL DID NOT GIVE:
THE FOLLOWING VIDEO IS NEITHER SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN NOR FAMILY FRIENDLY!
But that’s comedy, and like it or not, my serious readers demand serious attention to serious issues. Plus, I should be paying close attention if I want to pander to the wants and needs of readers who believe gay beer is bad, or that even gay-friendly beer is bad. After all, Coors and Miller have had to face anti-gay boycotts for making their beer too friendly to gays, by running ads targeting disgusting sodomite events!
But I like to dig deeper for insights into the thought processes of the boycotters, and I thought an assertion expressed here might merit scientific exploration:
…watery tasteless beer leads to watered-down distasteful morals! Hence my boycott of Miller/Coors has long been in place.
Let me know Sam Adams or Shiner go off the deep end.
If we look at beer that way, the issue becomes much larger than a boycott of any particiular beer, and it may even touch on a key sentiment which fueled the prohibition movement.
I feel duty bound to put the question bluntly.
If beer causes a lowering of moral standards, could it in fact make people gay?
Laugh if you want, but I have some very bad news in the form of scientific proof of a claim often made in humor.
Hello and welcome to Silver Lake 2000 SCIENCE CORNER, the newest feature on the ever expanding UncoolCentral website. The experts here at SL2000 have often overheard local residents asking: “What is the difference between a gay and a straight man?” with the answer being, “Six beers.” Could it really be true that homosexual and heterosexual males become one after the consumption of only six alcoholic grain beverages? The scientists in our laboratories decided to conduct a controlled experiment and see just how valid this theory was.
No, I am absolutely not going to provide all the details of the experiment or I’d have to wash my mouth out with suds. Pandering can be carried too far. Suffice it to say that it is not what Anti-Gay Inc. would call “family friendly.”
The combination of gay and beer is clearly a deadly threat. And to think we imagined that combining caffeine and alcohol was bad!
So where’s the FDA when we need them?
Comments
7 responses to “A combination more dangerous than Four Loko!”
What is the difference between a gay and a straight man?” with the answer being, “Six beers.”
I’ve heard that claims in two contexts.
Gay men who troll for drunken straight guys. I used to see a large contingent who really, really like getting gay with straight guys.
I never knew how much of what they said was BS and how much was real.
The other context is about women. Many guys like to think that any woman is only 3 or 4 drinks from some hot lezbo action (the good gay).
I’d say there’s some truth in both.
Which makes me wonder if, since alcohol loosens social inhibitions, the whole gay/straight thing is more of a social construct than I would have thought.
Heinlein, who I trust the most as an understander of human nature, seemed to think so in his later years but not so much in his earlier years.
“So where’s the FDA when we need them?” Don’t give them any ideas.
Veeshir,
Bad news. As a woman who drinks — occasionally but a lot — er… I’m far more than a few drinks away from hot girl on girl action. Sigh. I hate to tell guys this, because they get SO upset. OTOH I’ve had a straight female friend get very interested after about six drinks in the past. I had to pretend very hard that I JUST didn’t get it. So there is hope for all those guys who think “I’ll get them drunk and… threesome!”
I don’t think most guys are that close to the trigger, either. But sexual orientation — like everything else human — seems to be a continuum. I have a couple of straight male friends who — when even slightly alcohol-aided will hit on ANYTHING. Women, men, lampshades, bunny slippers. It’s funny as heck to watch…
I don’t know, I’ve been out karaokeing with my friends at Hamburger Mary’s in Chicago, and I don’t think it ever “turned me gay.” OTOH, some of those nights I don’t remember very much …
You know, I am not “pro-gay.” I am also not “anti-gay.” It pissed me off that some people expect me to claim one of the other position.
How about this? Are you pro-Black or anti-Black? Pro-Asian or anti-Asian? Pro-Hispanic or anti?
There are some gays I would trust with my life. Likewise, some straights. Conversely, there are plenty of both I would not trust to guard an anvil.
What does gay beer taste like?
That’s waaay too easy a straight line. No, wait, straight line, oh no, I’m in a bad joke vortex!
Steve I am with you there.
I try to be sexuality blind (as I really don’t care), and I would like to dispense with the gay straight dichotomy, which does more harm than good. I have tried to explain that identity politics results from some people making such personal things an issue, and then the people on the receiving end turn around and do the same thing.
I don’t want to care, but people want me to care, so the least I can do is ridicule the situation.
Veeshir and Sarah, I totally agree on the continuum thing….