Zero tolerance for “assault pastries” (and less than zero tolerance for common sense)

By now most people have heard about the ridiculous incident in which a boy was disciplined for biting into his pop tart in such a way that his teacher thought it resembled a gun:

 At Park Elementary school, Josh was enjoying his breakfast pastry when he decided to try and shape it into a mountain.

Josh said, “It was already a rectangle and I just kept on biting it and biting it and tore off the top and it kinda looked like a gun but it wasn’t.”

Josh takes full responsibly for trying to shape his breakfast pastry, but admits it was in innocent fun. He told FOX45, “All I was trying to do was turn it into a mountain but, it didn’t look like a mountain really and it turned out to be a gun kinda.”

When his teacher saw the strawberry tart he knew he was in trouble, he recalls, “She was pretty mad…and I think I was in big trouble.”

Josh’s dad received a phone call from the school saying that Josh has been suspended for two days because he took his breakfast pastry and fashioned it into a gun. Josh’s dad was astounded to learn the school chose such a harsh punishment, even after no one was hurt.

No one was hurt? Imagine that! Why, there could have been flying crumbs, and flecks of strawberry can resemble blood! Naturally, counseling has been made available for all who might have been traumatized. Considering the hysteria of the teacher, I’m thinking counseling might be appropriate. (After firing, of course….)

Lest anyone think this was an isolated incident, there has been another assault pastry crisis — right here in Michigan!

A Michigan elementary school confiscated a kid’s cupcakes, because they were decorated with “armed” toy soldiers. Nine-year-old Hunter Fountain brought the treats to Schall Elementary for his birthday, but dad Casey told Fox News that school officials swiped the cakes “because the soldiers had guns” and were “insensitive” following the Sandy Hook shootings. Staff eventually removed the army men and allowed Hunter to eat with his friends, in what was clearly an excellent use of everybody’s time. So let that be a lesson to you kids. Don’t bring army-man cupcakes to school. And don’t even think about bringing any Bazooka Joe: Someone may vastly overreact.

This would be funny if it weren’t becoming a form of mass hysteria. There has been a plethora of incidents involving teachers going bonkers lately, including the one who freaked out over a picture of a BB gun.

I think public schools have become the number one enemy of common sense in this country.