A lot of people complain about how easy it is to become a felon, and a couple of recent incidents hammer this point home.

Did you know that in America, you can become a felon by letting go of balloons?

A 40-year-old man faces felony charges after releasing a dozen heart-shaped, helium-filled balloons to impress his sweetheart. Unluckily for Anthony Brasfield, a Florida Highway Patrol Trooper was also watching.

The concern is that the balloons will eventually fall to earth, where they might harm the environment and be eaten by turtles. As a turtle lover, I can understand the concern, and even though I am a bit skeptical, I nonetheless do not plan to let go of balloons in the foreseeable future. But a felony? It would never occur to me to treat what amounts to littering as a felony. Our betters, however, are the ones who decide which crimes are so serious that we should lose our rights (including the right to vote and the right to keep and bear arms) for committing them.

And if you think releasing balloons is such a dastardly and wicked crime that it should be a felony, then by all means you will love the next one.

Did you know that in America, you can become a felon by sneaking into a second multiplex theater after paying for and watching a different movie?

The married couple went to the movies Saturday night at a multiplex in Portage, Indiana, where they watched “Snitch,” starring Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. When the action flick ended, the Harbins exited theater #13 and headed into theater #15, where the zombie film “Warm Bodies” was about to start.

The Harbins, however, had not purchased $6.75 tickets to the second movie, which resulted in the duo’s arrest for felony theft, according to a Portage Police Department report.

I read the police report, and by God, they had them dead to rights!

Just as I don’t condone releasing balloons, I also do not condone seeing movies without paying for them.

Er, I guess I misspoke. Years ago I suggested a substantially similar method for those who wanted to see Michael Moore’s Fahrenheit 911, but who didn’t want to enrich Moore:

Jim advises those opposed to the film to “get one of your left-wing friends to pay for the ticket for you so you aren?t supporting Moore financially.” Here’s a better way to handle the financial issue; go to one of those huge Metroplex style theaters, and buy a ticket for some other movie. Then, simply “infiltrate” your way in to the Moore monstrosity. I may get around to seeing it, but I have low tolerance for excessive propaganda these days…. Besides, I already have a pretty good idea of what, and how Moore thinks.

Geez. Was I advocating a felony?

Fortunately, the statute of limitations has run on my crime, but see how easy it is to get in trouble?