The Narrative just took a bullet to the chest.

Perhaps inevitably, the story starts with, yes, a dog:

A pit bull named Big Boi began menacing George and Shellie Zimmerman in the fall of 2009.

The first time the dog ran free and cornered Shellie in their gated community in Sanford, Florida, George called the owner to complain. The second time, Big Boi frightened his mother-in-law’s dog. Zimmerman called Seminole County Animal Services and bought pepper spray. The third time he saw the dog on the loose, he called again. An officer came to the house, county records show. “Don’t use pepper spray,” he told the Zimmermans … “Get a gun.”

The policeman suggested he buy a gun. Do the police tell a lot of people they consider irresponsible and dangerous to buy guns? Probably not.

The 28-year-old insurance-fraud investigator comes from a deeply Catholic background and was taught in his early years to do right by those less fortunate. He was raised in a racially integrated household and himself has black roots through an Afro-Peruvian great-grandfather – the father of the maternal grandmother who helped raise him.

That sound you hear is the press frantically trying to figure out how to update their ethnic style guides — is Zimmerman now a “black white Hispanic?” Or do we use the Obama standard (ever heard our historic POTUS called a “white black?” no you have not), in which case I guess Zimmerman is just… black.

Though civil rights demonstrators have argued Zimmerman should not have prejudged Martin, one black neighbor of the Zimmermans said recent history should be taken into account.

“Let’s talk about the elephant in the room. I’m black, OK?” the woman said, declining to be identified because she anticipated backlash due to her race. She leaned in to look a reporter directly in the eyes. “There were black boys robbing houses in this neighborhood,” she said. “That’s why George was suspicious of Trayvon Martin.”

Well, all I know is someone’s not getting invited to dinner with Al Sharpton or Barack “my son would look like Trayvon” Obama. Which is too bad, because Big Boi sounds delicious.