Facebook can be a very awkward, um, “place.” Is place the right word? Not long ago, an irritating thing happened to me for the second time. I was put on a group I did not join. A lot of people have been complaining about Facebook allowing this, and they say it presents opportunities for scam artists, but this was no scam artist; it was a friend who is trying to build support for his cause. Whether I agree with the cause is not the point; I sort of do, sort of don’t. The point is that I did not join it. As I said the last time this happened,
What I did not join, I did not join. Just because Facebook says I am a member does not mean I am, because if that is the criteria for membership in something, that thing is bogus, and it is inherently wrong to have to unjoin it.
So much for that exercise in passive-aggressive wishful thinking. So much for trying to be nice and ignoring it, for I did that only to be treated to a stream of unwanted advocacy emails. And of course, arguments. Worse yet, when I finally decided to actually go to the group I saw evidence that it is being manipulated by someone I cannot stand, and with whose name I absolutely refuse to be associated in any way, shape or form. So I found myself forced to act not because of anything I did, and even though I don’t think I should have had to, I felt obligated to “quit” a group I had never joined. I don’t like being put in a position of hurting anyone’s feelings, and seriously, I don’t blame my friend who meant well and is utterly sincere (if maybe a tad too zealous). It is Facebook that created this malevolent problem. It is to be expected that in politics people get excited about what they believe in, but sending an invitation is one thing; making someone a group member is quite another. It is wrong to allow this. By being forced to quit, I felt forced to do something I consider inherently wrong.
But still… Did I quit? “Quit” is in quotes above because I am conceptually puzzled. Is it possible to “quit” a group you never joined? Doesn’t the word “quit” by definition mean that you had to start the thing in the first place? Or is it possible to be be joined instead of join, and to be in a “place” you never went?
I don’t want to have to be someone who can be said to have “quit” that group, OK?
It might sound petty, but I am really steamed. I should not have had to quit, and I don’t think I did quit because I was never there! See my problem?
Surely there is reality somewhere. It’s just that it has managed to elude my grasp.
Where is there?
Comments
9 responses to “Was I in places I never went?”
Jesus Christ, Eric. When someone enrolls you in something without your permission, you don’t sit around and think about abstract principles qua “joining”. You quit, immediately, then send the enlister a rude email ordering him to stay the hell out of your life. I’d feel the same way if someone signed me up for the Red Cross, let alone a dubious one (the latter would just get a MUCH ruder email).
I agree… although I definitely appreciate your desire not to cause offense, I think decisive action would be called for. Hopefully, if you acted quickly enough, you would be able to forestall any hurt feelings.
This is pure evil.
It’s rarely going to be used in the way intended.
It’s going to be used to get people in groups like:
I Heart LaRaza
White+Brown=HappyMarriage
MMAnalSex=NormalSex
M+M=MarriedHappilyEverAfter
BlackIsBeautiful
This is a reruiting tool for controversial causes that the average person will be too scared to offend someone (coworker, family member, neighbor, etc) by leaving.
Hell it might even get someone’s house and computers searched when a friend’s account gets hijacked and they get added to a pro animal or child sex group.
When I worked for GM long ago, I was told I wasn’t free to not associate with the UAW unless I also stopped associating with GM.
There are a lot of people (especially my age and older) who do not pay strict attention to Facebook. Sooner or later, this is going to result in serious trouble.
Why in the heck are you on facebook? Miss junior high that much?
Exactly why we should not join facebook and other such groups.
They have no ethics and use everyone.
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