when bread and circuses fail

Some fascinating statistics are in the news.

Earlier I read that 29% of the public consider the Tea Party members to be terrorists. That seemed pretty high to me, and I wondered how many of them literally believe that believe that political advocacy against raising the debt ceiling is terrorism. I suspect that a substantial portion of these people just hate the Tea Party and think the word “terrorist” is a convenient insult.

However, it cannot be denied that there are a number of people running around out there with some awfully strange views. According to a new survey, one third of Americans would rather give up sex than give up their cell phones:

One would think that a cell phone pales in comparison to sex, but according to a new survey from Telenav, a mobile applications company, it doesn’t. In fact, one-third of Americans would rather do without sex than without their cell phone. In addition to sex, Americans would also pass on alcohol, chocolate, caffeine, exercise, a toothbrush, shoes and a computer if it meant being able to keep their phone.

What a strange group of people. Do they have such a preference more out of love for cell phones or out of displeasure with sex?

I saw no statistical breakdown between men and women, or political views. Nor is there any word on how many gun owners would give up their guns if that was the only way to keep their phones. How many of the people who prefer cell phones to sex also think the Tea Partiers are terrorists?

Are people who prefer cell phones to sex more likely to be liberal, or more likely to be conservative? I certainly hope they aren’t libertarians, but I guess obsessive phonophilia could strike anyone.

I try to understand humanity, but I see a cell phone as one of those things which is both a convenience and an inconvenience, and I find it tough to understand people who prefer the phone to having sex.

Yet I see people walking around and driving around who who seem to be on the phone all the time, so I guess they do prefer it to everything else. And if their cell phones were taken away, they might do something else. As to what that might be, I don’t want to find out.

Perhaps I should be glad they’re kept busy with their phones.