Eric has written a post on how bad sex is leading to rape charges. I’m reminded of the old Albert King song “If It Wasn’t For Bad Sex I Wouldn’t Have No Sex At All”. Truly a sad tale put to music. Don’t listen to it. No one else does (you can’t look it up). Too depressing.
Which got me to thinking about a piece Instapundit linked to: My Newfound Respect For Chivalry.
I saw other men treating their girlfriends and wives chivalrously and I envied those women. It looked to me like their men really cared about them, so much so that they were doing something supernumerary. As time went on, I occasionally dated men who behaved chivalrously, though usually I felt like it was just a front –“I’m trying to make a good impression” behavior. Then I had one boyfriend who was an Upper East Side prep school-type and treating women chivalrously seems to have been bred into him. There were times I liked his chivalry, but there were times I pushed up against it, too, because it still made me feel uncomfortable. It wasn’t until I started dating Mr. Jessica that I consciously decided to ignore my discomfort–to push my natural fuss-making instincts to the side–and let the poor guy treat me how he felt. In Mr. Jessica’s case, was chivalrously.
And that’s when I learned that I really, really enjoyed it.
Which brings me to a point I have been trying to write about for a month. Are women naturally submissive? Ask the question to Google and you get 658,000 answers. Not quite up there with SEX (3,530,000,000 – that is over 3 1/2 billion), but still important if you want to go deeper. Even Amazon has over 190,000 results for sex.
A little looking (at the first page Google turned up) produced this gem: Submissive Women are the Rule NOT the Exception – they just don’t know it.
Those of you who’ve read the The Girls section of this blog will see that I’ve identified myself as a submissive woman, in fact, I say I’m not ashamed to say it. The reason I say I’m not ashamed is primarily because there is shame attached to the idea of being submissive to anyone in our present age. I also mention I’m girly – to me the two go hand in hand. Let me explain.
Well the lady gets all Biblical on us (it is part of the culture). And then goes on to say:
I believe the desire for a woman to be submissive to her man is innate, plus I believe women are wired to be submissive to proper authority in general. Submissive, as I see it, is described as agreement, respect, duty, or deference. I don’t personally view it as meek, passive or tameness. I believe submissiveness is a feminine trait and I believe women have lost touch with this inborn need.
Some one Asks Yahoo if feminists are cool with submissive women and the answer they pick is from some guy who has theories. Amusing. In a perverted sort of way.
So how did all this happen? How did female surrender become taboo (at least in a large part of the culture)? I have a theory – women who had been raped and man hating lesbians took over the feminist movement. But there were always exceptions. I knew a guy back in the 70s who had a six month relationship with a strong feminist lesbian and her girlfriend. Boy did I get some stories. True? False? Who knows? But I did see them together around town a lot while it was going hot and heavy. Eventually the guy married the girlfriend and the lesbian got her own husband and started a family. Weird. If you are sure human nature is fixed rather than channeled. There is always some water outside the channel and no given drop of water can be guaranteed to stay with the flow all the way to the sea (Of Love).
My take on the whole question: only the strong can surrender.
Cross Posted at Power and Control
Comments
7 responses to “Surrender In The Sex Wars”
If you think man-hating lesbians run the feminist movement, I suggest talking to some actually existing feminists and correcting this stereotypical belief. Repeating it does no service to women.
Yes, women are, as a group, naturally submissive. There are statistical tails that can be over-represented in cultural space, but the majority are.
The problem is that individual women will have a threshold of manliness before willing submission. They will not submit to a man they calculate is inadequate or is not dominant enough. They test men and some men will respond and fail.
The lucky man is one who finds a woman who respects him and tests him and he passes by will power her strength tests.
Took me many relationships to overcome the feminist noise on the issue to find the true reality of gender relationships.
“I suggest talking to some actually existing feminists and correcting this stereotypical belief.”
If by that you mean they don’t hate just men, but men, women, themselves and everything else?
If that was your intention then I can completely agree.
Women who vociferously call themselves feminists are a hateful lot. Whereas women who want to be treated equally seem to me a much more balanced sort.
Ayn Rand claimed that women were naturally submissive as well. She put it something like “a woman needs a man to look up to, who is better than her, and worthy of being looked up to.” In my experience with women, I find that to be true. I think the healthiest relationships are structured along those lines.
Are women naturally submissive?
I’m not sure the question makes a lot of sense. You’re talking about a group made up of a little over three billion people – half the worlds population. You can probably find significant numbers of women at every point along the psychological line. I’ve come across women who liked to be bullied and beaten, and others who liked to be the bully and the beater. Most fall somewhere in between those two extremes.
I do think that “chivalry” on the part of men presupposes a certain type of woman, one who could be described as “submissive” in some senses.
Ayn Rand claimed that women were naturally submissive as well.
Yeah, but Ayn Rand was a demented sociopath.
Yeah, but Ayn Rand was a demented sociopath.
Them Jewish girls can be very interesting. Which is why I love them so.