My major worry

My congressman, John Dingell, is one of the oldest and richest members of the House; he’s so old that his Washington career literally began under FDR.

Now 84, Dingell intends to seek re-election, and he is taking advantage of the tragic shooting of Gabrielle Giffords by claiming he and his wife received death threats “in” the last campaign. He also blames “rhetoric” for violence.

“We had a very, very nasty campaign against us in which I got death threats, my wife got death threats,” Dingell said. “I don’t mind them for me – I’ve had them for years. … But what does bother me is when they threaten my wife.”

In referencing the Tucson, Ariz., shootings that wounded Rep. Gabrielle Giffords, Dingell said rhetoric has created “a hideous unproductive climate which I think is very dangerous.”

It just so happens that I majored in Rhetoric. Little did I know that I was majoring in the art of manufacturing hideous unproductive dangerous climates.
What I want to know is if “Rhetoric” is responsible for violence, then why isn’t “English”?
And after all, didn’t Jared Loughner identify the culprit as “Grammar”?
Obviously, these are very dangerous subjects.
What would have been a safe major?

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9 responses to “My major worry”

  1. M. Simon Avatar

    A safe Major? That is a tad militaristic isn’t it?

  2. Kathy Kinsley Avatar
    Kathy Kinsley

    Maybe a general major? Or a major-general…I’m off to reread John M. Ford’s delightfully funny “How much for just the planet?” again.

  3. Kathy Kinsley Avatar
    Kathy Kinsley

    P.S. – “laugh them into submission” is a pretty good way to fight.

  4. DJ Avatar
    DJ

    Hmm….Isn’t Judith Butler in the Rhetoric Department at Berkeley?
    Sounds pretty dangerous to me. At least if anyone’s listening.

  5. Steve Skubinna Avatar
    Steve Skubinna

    He’s got a valid point, guys. Consider: the ancient Greeks and Romans both studied rhetoric, and in fact considered it an essential element of any well educated man.
    And look what happened to them. Coincidence? yeah, right.
    Nope, that rhetoric is some seriously dangerous shit, dude. Wipes out whole cultures.

  6. rhhardin Avatar

    Cicero started it with tasteless jokes.
    “Like what was said by a Sicilian, when his friend was complaining that his wife had hanged herself upon a fig tree: Prithee, my dear, said the other, canst thee get me some slips of that same tree that I may graft them in my garden?”

  7. Veeshir Avatar
    Veeshir

    Jeez, and here I’ve been asking rhetorical questions for years never realizing how violent I was.
    I’m sorry for those who I’ve offended.
    After all, who wants to offend people?

  8. Wacky Hermit Avatar

    Math is a pretty safe major. Everyone assumes you’re genius-level smart, even if you struggle to wrap your head around differential equations. And when you use math in an argument, you win by default because nobody knows enough about it to question your math.
    Of course, it’s got a downside. Everyone you talk to at parties suddenly becomes thirsty and has to go get a drink.