Did you ever want to know your “Superhero Identity”? I didn’t, but this test found it for me, and it’s Friday, Online Test Day at Classical Values, where each week I share my innermost angst, and bare my most embarrassing truths.
Here, then, is my Superhero profile:
Your Superhero Identity For Today Is:
Name: Black Snake
Secret Identity: Eric Scheie
Special Power: Invisibility
Transportation: Nuclear Skateboard
Weapon: Neutron Blade
Costume: Kevlar Cape
Sidekick: Samwise
Nemesis: Melvin the Puzzler
Tragic Flaw: Fear of heights
Favorite Food: French Fries
You too can take this test — at Humorscope.
(I found it at David’s Sketches of Strain who in turn got it from DramaQueen. Great bloggers both!)
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Do heroes get to be racists? I’m not sure, but I found a rather fun test with the provocative title of “What Kind of Racist are You?” and I’m the kind of racist who gets away with being racist: the Minority Racist!
You’re A Minority Racist!
What Kind of Racist are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
(Via The Black Hole.)
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Well, if I am a minority racist, then what minority am I? A turtle, apparently. According to this test from Jay Solo, I’m “CRUSH, the wave-riding turtle and master of philosophy.”
What Finding Nemo Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
I’d like to just retreat into my shell and ponder the meaning of life…..
Except today I am supposed to be driving to New Jersey!
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Last of all, via Ordinary Galoot, I found a test called “Which Weird Latin Phrase Are You?” — and the result, while true enough, just doesn’t seem to address the real me:
Furnulum pani nolo.
“I don’t want a toaster.”
Generally, things (like this quiz) tend to tick you
off. You have contemplated doing grievous
bodily harm to door-to-door salesmen.
Which Weird Latin Phrase Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
(Via Ordinary Galoot.)
I mean, I might not particularly want a toaster right now (I already have one), but should that be the focus of my life?
I mean, aren’t there more important issues?
Or am I toast?
(Definitely toast; as I said, I’m on my way to New Jersey…..)
Comments
5 responses to “Racist Turtle Toaster Hero!”
How do you say, in Latin, “Hail to the Roman Empire! But please stop crucifying people.”?
That racist quiz showed me a picture of Hitler, a swastika in red, and a Nazi eagle, and then told me:
“All the choiced you make spring from the assumption of racial superiority that is the foundation of your philosophy.”
Hail to the superiority of the Lesbian Race!
“You can have a whole conversation consisting of acronyms and cryptic number sequences.”
C.L.I.T. 4384
“You whine a ton and despite being the ‘master race’”
Submit to your Dominatrix!
“all the people in your little clubs are drug addicts, latent homosexuals,”
Latent?? Latent???
“and FBI informants.”
Yes. I admire J. Edgar Hoover and Inspector Efrem Zimbalist Erskine. The _style_!
“Most people find you views repugnant”
True.
“and unless you’re extraordinarily handsome, witty, and charming, you have no friends.”
True.
The label for me was “IDEOLOGICAL RACIST”
I’m came up a ‘vestigial rascist.’ Does anyone have some vestigials to spare, that I can oppress in my spare time?
I must say, in defense or mitigation of myself, that another quiz, on another site you linked to recently, said I was NOT racist.
Capitalists, tremble! I am RED LAD!