No more monkeyshines!

This is not Friday, and therefore NOT the right day for Online Testing, but I am posting the results of the latest test anyway.
This test — “Which Animal Spirit Totem Are You?” — gave me results which will guarantee me trouble with two of my favorite bloggers, Frank J. (who hates all monkeys) and Don W. (who believes it to be an affront to Frank J. to ever joke about monkeys).
Despite the inner turmoil this causes me, and at the risk of offending these excellent bloggers, I decided that honesty is the best policy. Plus, this is no joke! I am very upset about this test, because I really don’t wanna be a monkey!
Usually, when I take tests I find through Ghost of a flea, I get the same results as the Flea, so I don’t know what happened here. (The result was not intentional, I assure everyone.)
I am not waiting till Friday to post the results, because, being a superstitious person, I wanted to get this out of my system now.

Your soul is bound to the Fifth Totem, Homid:
The Monkey.
Homid appears as a viridian monkey. He embodies
intelligence, potential, understanding, and
skill. He is associated with the color
viridian, the season of spring, and the element
of fire. His downfall is pretentiousness.
You are most compatible with Owls and Tortoises.

Which Animal Spirit Totem Are You?
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Forgive me, but I need to bare my soul — especially now that I am told it is “Homid-bound.”
(Hey, at least I didn’t engage in Homid enablement.)
UPDATE: And for God’s sake, please do not engage in ad homid attacks!