Regarding a plan to shift thousands of U.S. troops from Okinawa to Guam, Congressman Hank Johnson said this:

My fear is that the whole island will become so overly populated that it will tip over and capsize.

I've been having enough trouble lately trying to figure out what's humor and what is serious, but as it's the April Fools season, I thought I would give the congressman the benefit of the doubt. So I went to his web site, where I found the Rep. Johnson's April 1, 2010 "statement on Guam comments in an Armed Services Committee hearing":

"The subtle humor of this obviously metaphorical reference to a ship capsizing illustrated my concern about the impact of the planned military buildup on this small tropical island."

If so, a lot of people didn't get it, including the leftie Mother Jones, which called this and the congressman's other gaffes at the hearing "cringe-worthy":

Earlier, in another cringe-worthy moment, Johnson goes into exhaustive detail about the island's dimensions, eventually posing this question to the admiral: "I don't know how many square miles it is, do you happen to know?"

Willard: "I don't have that figure with me, sir, but I could certainly supply it to you if you'd like."

Since Willard definitely has more important things to do than Google the square mileage of Guam, I'll save him the trouble: approximately 212.

Jon Stewart needs to send Johnson a thank you note. You can't make this stuff up.

Take a look:

If the man is joking, he is doing a great job of playing it with a straight face, as he "pretends" to painfully drag out his thoughts in the most laborious manner imaginable. And I'm not sure what to make of poor Admiral Willard's reaction. He is clearly trying not to laugh.

Does that mean he was in on the joke too?

The problem is, lots of people are taking this seriously, and they think the man really was worried about the island tipping over.

I don't think it helps much that Johnson offered another metaphorical explanation:

"I wasn't suggesting that the island of Guam would literally tip over I was using a metaphor to say that with the addition of 8,000 Marines and their dependents - an additional 80,000 people during peak construction on the tiny island with a population of 180,000 - could be a tipping point which could adversely affect the island's fragile ecosystem and could overburden its stressed infrastructure.

"Having traveled to Guam last year, I saw firsthand how this beautiful - but vulnerable island - could easily become overburdened, and I was simply voicing my concerns that the addition of that many people could tip the delicate balance and do permanent harm to Guam."

Maybe I'm missing the subtle humor of shifting metaphorical references, but I am beginning to detect a seriously humorous metaphorical imbalance.

And you know what that might mean.

The whole metaphor might tip over and capsize!

MORE: Neo-Neocon has demonstrated that Congressman Johnson and Admiral Willard have known each other for years, share a remarkable gift for deadpan humor, and that the exchange constitutes an "updating of their old routine, with both Johnson and Willard playing their familiar roles."

Phew!

(She also documents a floating island pastry theme, and I like edible metaphors!)