I recently learned from a friend about a man in Pennsylvania who is being charged with the crime of keeping pet ducks:
A Pennsylvania man is facing a fine of $500 a day for having four pet ducks.
Delmont resident Jim Kistler was notified that having his web-footed pals, Larry, Moe, Curly and Fred, is a violation of a borough ordinance, according to the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review. And even though the ducks are kept in an enclosure and not exactly dangerous, there doesn’t appear to be much he can do.
“It’s not easy to deal with,” Kistler told FoxNews.com. It is absolutely ridiculous. I am very upset about it.”
The ducks won’t hurt anybody, according to Jim Bonner, executive director of the Audubon Society of Western Pennsylvania. Blue Swedish ducks are fairly common pets and are known for being docile and quiet, he said.
“They are a domesticated species,” he said. “These guys have been bred for centuries. It’s really no different (from a dog or cat). If my neighbor had one, I wouldn’t mind.
But the borough ordinance doesn’t just ban ducks. Swine, goats, sheep, insects, reptiles having a venomous or constrictor nature, bovines and quadrupeds — such as elephants, rhinoceros, hippopotamus, moose and deer are all forbidden as household pets. The municipal law also bans “poultry,” a classification which apparently takes in ducks, but which Kistler believes is aimed at residential chicken farming.
“Poultry” includes ducks in the farming sense, but I think the idea was most likely to target roosters, because they crow in the morning. Hawks, falcons, owls and vultures, however, are NOT poultry, so the law wouldn’t apply to them.
But insects! Ye gads! A kid has an ant farm? Send in the SWAT team!
This doesn’t make much sense to me. Insects are not generally kept as pets, and an ant farm harms no one. I suspect that whatever moron drafted the ridiculous ordinance might have been worried about people who keep tarantulas and scorpions, but they are arthropods and not insects, so they would not be not banned.
The ordinance would also ban most pet snakes, because the most commonly sold varieties now are Corn Snakes. Perfectly harmless, but because they are members of the rat snake group, they are constrictors.
I can’t help notice that the ban does not mention alligators or crocodiles. Or snapping turtles. Or ferrets. Or for that matter, lions, tigers and bears.
We are ruled. And not by smart people.
MORE: Many thanks to Glenn Reynolds for the link, and a warm welcome to all. Comments welcome, agree or disagree, hilarious or serious.
Comments
25 responses to “Government geniuses at work”
I keep e-coli as pets. In my stomach.
“But insects! Ye gads! A kid has an ant farm? Send in the SWAT team!”
Can you imagine how long it’d take them to shoot each ant. They’d be there for a week.
Clarence is cross-eyed and exempt under the ADA. Tony sells cereal and gas. And what KKKop is going to mess with Smokey?
Surely alligators and bears fall under “quadrupeds” — as do dogs, cats, and hamsters.
I thought about that, but it can’t ban all quadrupeds, so it must mean the animals referenced:
***QUOTE***
quadrupeds — such as elephants, rhinoceros, hippopotamus, moose and deer
***END QUOTE***
Otherwise, the town has banned virtually ALL conventional pets (except, I guess non-constricting snakes, mullusks, arthropods, and fish).
Which is even more idiotic than I thought!
Is ti a surprise to anyone that a state run by a criminal Republican governor would have laws like this? Corbett belongs in jail, right along with Bush, Cheney, Palin, Christie, Rumsfeld, Ashcroft, Gonzales, Romney, Thomas, Alito, and Roberts.
TO: All
RE: Ducks & Such
Poultry includes not only chickens and ducks in the farming sense, but ALSO in the culinary sense as well.
Regards,
Chuck(le)
[Aaaaahhhhh….roast duck. It’s been too long since I had the foul taste in my mouth.]
“Is ti(sic) a surprise to anyone that a state run by a criminal Republican governor…”
How do you know this Municipal Regulation wasn’t passed under Gov. Ed Rendell (D), or some other Dem Gov in PA’s history?
You don’t, because you just want to rag on Republicans.
It is not unusual for towns to ban everything they can. That’s why my farm is not in a town. So my ducks can stroll around on 80 acres.
Sadly, many people do not know about such ordinances, get a chicken or duck for a pet and are then heartbroken when forced to get rid of the pet.
Probably half my chickens came from people who were in that situation.
The rulers are not stupid. They make stupid laws intentionally. This way, we are unable to predict what is and is not permissible. Thus we are kept constantly in fear of the state.
To Brian G.: Nice try but there’s too much competition for best troll for that to win.
Wait ’til next year!
John…You give politicians, especially democrat ones, entirely too much credit. They are this stupid.
I can’t moooooove there!
Nor do I want to do so!
Brian G was not troll worthy. He is a Dem Zombie bitten by a media viruse concocted by the ruling party. It works like blinders on a horse but in this case it is a jackass.
Only sunlight cures it. The closest thing to sunlight he’ll see is the smoke this administration is blowing up his butt. The press has labeled it sunshine.
I am no authority on snakes, but are not all snakes either venomous or constrictors? If they are not one of the two, how do they eat?
One of my favorite singers, 13 yr old Jackie Evancho, said on Jay Leno that she had 4 ducks as pets. Are they going to arrest her too. She lives in Pittsburg, so she is under the juristiction of these fascist morons. When will we finally get these big gov morons under control. But I forget, the dems always tell us that all of this is for our own good, and we should thank them for it.
The insects being banned are bees, I think. They don’t want anyone keeping hives. Some people are afraid of bees and don’t want to live near hives.
The swat team won’t shoot the ants. They’ll shoot the residents of the house and then burn it.
Brian G. clearly needs to get a kitty cat to pet and .love and help him to adjust to life outside the group home
The borough of Delmont is a tiny thing with a population of 2686 in the 2010 census and an area that’s just over a square mile so we’re talking a pretty small town. If they’ve got a SWAT team, it’s probably them kicking into one of those multi-jurisdictional monstrosities.
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Brian G. is a good example of the stupid mushbrained fools who can’t see past their own noses. Tell ya what, brian G. Look up ANY stupid law ANYWHERE and you’re more than likely to find a Demorat behind it.
You meant to distinguish the arachnids (spiders and scorpions) from insects all of which are in Phylum Arthropoda?
In response to Eric Scheie (spelled S-C-H-E-I-E i-yo. PLEASE turn out to be a farmer): I think the Noble Lords of the municipality meant “ungulates,” but wrote “quadrupeds.” Whatever. It doesn’t make them wrong. It makes Linnaeus wrong, that’s what. Learn your place.
You can’t have ducks as pets but you have weasels in government? Go figure.