If Ann Coulter was castrated, then I have been Newtered!

I am hardly a fan of Ann Coulter, as most longtime readers realize. But every once in a while, I have felt obligated to defend her, and this is one of those times.

In an American Spectator broadside, Coulter is being accused of having been “castrated.” Her offense? Saying that Mitt Romney is the best candidate the Republicans have.

…something has happened to Coulter. I don’t have firsthand knowledge that she was kidnapped by RINO Team Six and taken to an offshore medical facility where she was forced to undergo a gruesome surgical procedure, but many of her recent columns suggest that something of the sort must have occurred. What else could explain her endorsement of Mitt Romney? Once immutable where her core convictions were concerned, she has executed a vertigo-inducing volte-face in order to promote a brazen opportunist whose positions on the big issues were the opposite of hers before he began running for President. She relentlessly trashes Republican “moderates” like McCain, yet now supports a candidate who makes the Arizona Senator look like Barry Goldwater by comparison.

The above is both unfair and dishonest. Coulter vehemently opposed McCain as a RINO in the last election, and endorsed Romney.

Got that?

Yes, it is old history by now, but in 2008 Ann Coulter endorsed Romney.

She was no more enthusiastic then than she is now, but her consistency is remarkable.

What this means is that either her “castration” occurred long ago, or else someone thinks that failing to support Newt Gingrich equals castration.

Hmmm…. If that’s true, then considering what I think about Newt, I have long been a member of the castrati chorus.

Nah, that can’t be it, because I don’t like Romney and have never endorsed him.

Plus, I am not a woman. So, if we are to be fair about this game of attributing the removal of genitals to the sex that does not have them, perhaps my failure to support Newt means I have undergone a hysterectomy.

What an impossibly compounded tragedy! I’ll never be able to enjoy what I never had.

Obviously, I blame Newt for my predicament.


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5 responses to “If Ann Coulter was castrated, then I have been Newtered!”

  1. Sarah Avatar
    Sarah

    Maybe it’s because it’s really late, but this post made me laugh 🙂
    I’ve told you before and I mean this with the deepest respect, Eric: You ARE a bad man! 🙂

  2. Eric Avatar

    And you, Sarah, ARE a beautiful woman!

  3. agimarc Avatar

    We are starting to split into regions with regional interests and views. Coulter is a NE lady, and her stuff tends to be colored by that part of the country. It is why she supports Chris Christy. Cheers-

  4. Simon Avatar
    Simon

    I lost my ovaries a long time ago. The equipment I was left with still works.

    You will note that I support neither Gingrich nor Romney. I’m still trying to figure out if that has any significance what so ever.

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