Debacle In Denver

Lawrence O’Donnell Jr. imagines what it would be like with a deadlocked convention in Denver. Totally hilarious. Or is that Hillaryous? Any way, since this is a gay friendly blog I’m going to give you the opening scene.

FROM THE BLACK, we hear noises, confusing sounds. Grunting? Groaning? Sex? A massage? A workout? Weight lifting? fade in on: Skin. Sweaty skin.
A buttock? Male, female? Muscular. Hair. More hair. Definitely male. REVEAL hard-core gay sex scene between a flawless blond bodybuilder-hooker and a bald, middle-aged 300-pound man. A cell phone rings. The fat man reaches for it, hits a button to stop the ringing. Back to sex. A hotel phone starts ringing. And ringing. And ringing. The fat man picks it up and hangs up to stop the ringing. It rings again immediately. The fat man tries the same trick. And it rings again immediately. Finally, the phone wins. As the fat man talks on the phone, the hooker continues to do his job.
Fat man: Yeah … Harold, can I call you ba– … Uh-huh … I still haven’t deci– … This really isn’t a good time for– … Please. I have to– … I just– … I need– … (Desperate to get back to sex, gives up.) Okay … Yes, I’m saying yes … No, you can’t announce it yet … I’m giving you my word … I’ve got to hang up now … Okay. (Hangs up.)
Hooker (looking up from his work): Are you a superdelegate?

He has five pages more of equally funny or funnier stuff. Loved the scene with Bill Clinton and Charlie Rangel. Go read the whole damn thing. Way more fun than serious politics.