Does he or doesn’t he?

I was most amused to learn of James Wolcott’s concerns about Ann Coulter’s “shampoo with its special conditioning agents.”
While I almost never agree with Wolcott, I do, I confess, enjoy his writing. But in this instance I have to question his hair expertise. And not just because of the picture in Pajamas Media. There’s this:

Far be it from me to criticize anyone’s personal appearance, as I’m hardly a model of good grooming. But I didn’t bring up Ann Coulter’s hair; Wolcott did.
So I’m wondering. . .
Might the man be jealous of Ann Coulter’s hair?
Or is he just trolling for a spot on “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy”?
I’m hesitant to make assumptions.
AFTERTHOUGHT: In fairness to Wolcott, I think he is probably not jealous of Ann Coulter’s hair. More likely, he’d be “envious,” because, even though there is a small possibility of some involvement in the conspiracy I outlined here, I think it is highly unlikely that James Wolcott owns [or has any proprietary interest in] Ann Coulter’s hair. However, he might nonetheless be jealously envious — assuming he thinks Ann Coulter’s hair receives more attention than his. But even there, might he be wrong? (Parsing these issues is hairy.)