A conspiracy theorist I am not. However, occasionally I run into one which I find irresistible, and the latest involves speculation that Ted Cruz Is The Zodiac Killer.
While there is a facial resemblance between Cruz and police sketches of the suspect, a friend pointed out that this seemed highly unlikely, because the Zodiac Killer’s serial murder spree began in 1968 — when Cruz would not yet have been born.
Ah, but that’s only if we are so gullible as to believe what’s on the man’s birth certificate, which is already under attack by top experts.
But let’s accept for the sake of argument that Cruz was not born at the time of the killings. Does that really end the inquiry? If we consider that 3 and 4 year olds are considered by at least one judge to be capable of representing themselves in court, is it really too much of a stretch to argue that there might be some murderers who are so evil and so precocious that they are able to begin their crimes when they are yet unborn? Moreover, if Cruz is in fact diabolically evil, then were he to live long enough to engage in time travel, it would be relatively simple for him to travel back in time, commit the perfect (and still unsolved!) murders, only to return to the future with the best possible alibi: that he was “not born yet.” And remember, if it ever will be possible to travel backwards in time, that means it has already happened, and not only did Cruz commit the murders, but all past events are subject to change according to future whims!
I’ll leave this to the top experts in the fields to ponder, but I think the real clincher is to be found in Cruz’s own campaign logo, which, when rearranged, reveals itself to be a diabolical clue!
Very damning, I’d say.
Comments
8 responses to “An earthshaking allegation that the Cruz campaign has yet to deny!”
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Canada turd crud is a psychopath ;but not that psychopath! He is the new nixon with out nixon’s “charm!”
When I moved to the San Francisco bay area in 1971, the Zodiac was big news and had been for several years before I arrived. Yes, Ted Cruz was born in 1970 – but that was 1970 in Canada. Maybe 1970 in Canada was not the same year as 1970 in the United States. Have you considered that possibility?
@Captain You mean you thought Nixon had charm – or even “charm”? I’m quite old enough to remember him – and I knew quite a lot of people who voted for him (I didn’t). Not one of them considered him charming.
The man was the very antithesis of charm. Sheesh.
I’m sure there were some who voted FOR Nixon, but the vast majority voted against his opponents.
[…] my last flippant post, I do have something good to say about this election: it is going to be interesting. A lot more so […]
The KKK did not endorse Cruz. That proves they are for him. Secretly.
He who controls the present controls the past. He who controls the past controls the future.
He who controls magnetism controls the universe!
Given your choice of Ted Cruz, Pablo Cruise or Tom Cruise how do you spell “crooze”? kkkrooz?