Change the future before it’s too late!

Earlier I got an email asking me to sign a petition to the White House. The problem is, I cannot tell whether it serious or satire.

Start Planning and Siting “Polar Cities” for Survivors of Global Warming Impact Events 30 Generations From Now

We call on the White House to start planning adaptation strategies for survivors from the Lower 48 who will flood Alaska as climate refugees 30 generations from now due to climate chaos impact events in the Lower 48

So far it has gotten all of 2 signatures (mine not among them).

I may be a heartless and callused bastard, but even if I were convinced that the world is actually warming at whatever infinitesimal rate it is supposed to be warming, I don’t believe in static analysis or projections, because human activity can be counted on to change over time. A generation being defined as 25 years, 30 generations means 750 years from now. Seven and a half centuries ago my Scandinavian ancestors were barely converted to Christianity, and while I don’t know what if any “planning adaptation strategies” they might have been implementing, it’s a little silly to imagine that they would have had much effect on me.

What the hell was going on in 1263? A lot, actually.

Especially in northern and eastern Europe:

• July – Scottish–Norwegian War: Haakon IV of Norway sets sail to defend the Hebrides against Alexander III of Scotland.
• October 2 – Battle of Largs: an inclusive battle in the Scottish–Norwegian War fought in Scotland, between kings Haakon IV of Norway and Alexander III of Scotland.
• Mindaugas, the only Christian king of Lithuania, is assassinated by his cousin Treniota.
• The chieftains of the eastern part of Iceland become the last to pledge fealty to the King of Norway, bringing a more complete end to the Icelandic Commonwealth and the Icelandic civil war.
• Hulagu Khan is defeated in an attempted invasion north of the Caucasus.
• Based on Magdeburg Law, ?nin (Poland) is given city rights.

And of course, while all of that was going on, the Medieval Warm Period had pretty much petered out, and the Little Ice Age had begun.

Would signing a petition to King Haakon IV have made a difference in the way we live today? It is worth noting that Haakon was Norway’s first educated king, which means he could have at least read a petitition, and he reigned for 46 years, during which Norway’s geopolitical status increased substantially.  This was medieval Norway’s Golden Age!

Under Haakon’s rule, medieval Norway is considered to have reached its zenith or golden age. His reputation and formidable naval fleet allowed him to maintain friendships with both the Pope and the Holy Roman Emperor, despite their conflict. He was at different points offered the Imperial Crown by the Pope, the Irish High Kingship by a delegation of Irish kings, and the command of the French crusader fleet by the French king. He amplified the influence of European culture in Norway by importing and translating contemporary European literature into Old Norse, and by constructing monumental European-style stone buildings. In conjunction with this he employed an active and aggressive foreign policy, and at the end of his rule added Iceland and the Norse Greenland community to his kingdom, leaving Norway at its territorial height. Although he for the moment managed to secure Norwegian control of the islands off the northern and western shores of Great Britain, he fell ill and died when wintering in Orkney following some military engagements with the expanding Scottish kingdom.

Hmmm…. Let’s suppose for the sake of argument that there were climate change conspiracy theorists back in the day who somehow became convinced that the Medieval Warm Period was coming to an end. Suppose they had petitioned King Haakon, and suppose further that he decided to act on the theory. Might he have seen the wisdom of devoting more time and energy to the military campaign against Scotland? After all, Scotland is to the south of Norway, and would have been destined to be ultimately warmer. So, had Norway annexed it completely (instead of simply interbreeding with the Scots), and had Scotland become an early, maybe permanent part of Norway, would the world be a different place today? Had Haakon brought the Scottish kingdom to an early end, maybe. We would never have had King James on the throne in England, which means no King James Bible, no Jamestown, no Charles I (meaning no religious revolution) and quite possibly no United States.

Hey, these petitions might be more serious than I thought….