Naturally, things don’t work!

In a comment to my post about ineffective sudafed substitutes, Joseph Hertzlinger reminded me that there is a method to their madness:

While we’re advocating legalizing cold remedies that work, maybe we try relegalizing toilets that work as well.

Insane as it may sound, it does seem that America is at war with Things That Work. Or at least, that the bureaucrats who run America are. The example of toilets is a classic, but a more recent example is detergent.

That’s a very simple concept, right? So why is our government at war with it?

I kid you not. The latest is the attack on dishwasher detergent. Within the past year I noticed that the dishes just aren’t getting as clean as they used to. It’s because last summer, Michigan joined the anti-phosphate bandwagon:

According to USA Today, July starts a ban in  sixteen states of the sale of dishwasher detergents that contain high levels of phosphates, a source of pollution in lakes and streams.

Stores will not be allowed to sell detergent with more than 0.5 percent phosphorous. The bans do not apply to commercial dishwashing products, and detergents for hand-washing dishes generally contain no phosphorus.

States instituting the rule include Illinois, Indiana, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Montana, New Hampshire, Ohio, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, Washington and Wisconsin, reports the Associated Press.

No doubt the legislatures followed the orders issued to them by the Public Policy People, whose job is to tell everyone what to do regardless of their ostensible titles or power. 

Naturally (!), the new dishwashing soap fails to get the dishes clean, so people are resorting to self-help, and taking advantage of a loophole. From the furious comments:

I was ready to buy a new dishwasher! All the products I bought in the last month have been leaving dishes and cookware dirty,chalky, and stained. Thanks to Garry J…. I am heading to Lowes. I called Cascade and they had no explanation as to why their products went from fine to crap. I only saw the ban when I was surfing for new dishwashers.

[…]

For the past couple of months our dishes had been coming out with horrible white spots and my black plastic utensils were white and chalky!! I just realized in tiny print all the detergent says “phosphate free”. I thought something was wrong with my water! I found on the internet that if you put white vinegar or a packet of lemon kool-aid in the rinse it helps. But it’s kinda hard to know when my dishwasher is rinsing, I have to hang around and listen…BRING BACK PHOSPHATES!!! It’s not like we’re dumping detergent directly into the lakes and rivers…can’t they leave anything alone??

No, they can’t. Leaving things alone is not in their nature.

Ordinary people are forced to cross state lines to evade the ban (which is probably another federal felony along with almost everything else). Freepers are also exchanging information about the new black market, and they point out that the TSP loophole won’t last long.

In a recent post titled “Your dishes are dirty because of the Greens,” Moe Lane notes how quickly this happened, and mentions another loophole:

Both Erick and I ranted on this topic a while back, but I don’t think that either of us were aware how just how quickly it was going to get this bad. Repairing this will probably take some doing; in the meantime, I suggest that people start purchasing Finish Glass Magic Dishwasher Performance Booster: 16 OZ, as it is (I believe) still roughly 20% phosphates, and should thus supplement your regular dishwasher detergent handily. It costs more, true, but as compensation using it makes environmentalists cry – particularly if you make it a point to mention that you’re adding it at least partially to spite them.

Intriguingly, he opines that this was done out of spite:

Hey. They got rid of the phosphates in the first place mostly to spite you.

And in a PS, he notes that the dangers were overhyped. (Surprise!)

PS: Turns out that phosphate levels in the Spokane river haven’t gone down at anywhere near the levels expected by the ban. And that there’s some question of whether high phosphate levels were actually the problem that they were portrayed as being in the first place.

It would not surprise me if many of the manufacturers see this and other bans in the same way the drug companies saw the Sudafed restrictions: as money-making opportunities. After all, when the government forces stores to clear the shelves, they need more inventory. And if the replacement doesn’t work as well, many ordinary housewives will simply use more and buy more. Their loss is the manufacturer’s gain!

Why more people aren’t more outraged by these things, I don’t know. But the government war on Things That Work is a major motivation behind many a Tea Partyer. I know because I am one of them and I hear them talk.

In New York, the Department of Environmental Conservation sees the detergent ban as only a small step in a greater war:

The detergent restocking ban took effect Saturday.

“We’re chipping away at sources of pollution. This is one. Nitrogen is another,” said DEC Commissioner Pete Grannis. Pesticides are a third, and the agency backed legislation enacted earlier this year that will ban the use of pesticides on schoolyards and playing fields.

Hey, mosquitos, lice and bedbugs are part of the environment, and children have to be taught at an early age to live in harmony with nature. 

I can remember back in Berkeley when people used to think rats were bad, and they would trap and poison them. Now, they are feeding them:

Berkeleyside set out, with some trepidation, to investigate — and indeed we found rats, perhaps not millions, but certainly dozens, feeding off what looked like bird food. The many passers-by, going to dinner or on their way home at 6.30 in the evening, barely seemed to notice the vermin in their midst.

They even have a nice picture of the happy Telegraph Avenue rats:

But that’s just Berkeley. In many parts of backward America, people still use poison. It works. Naturally, the more progressive Europeans are a step ahead, and they want to ban it. A few pesky Scottish conservatives are not happy:

The European Parliament’s environment committee will next month vote on a ban on anti-coagulant in rodenticides.

Scottish Conservative MEP Struan Stevenson said if the bill was made law there would be no other way of controlling the rodent population.

He said there would be an explosion in numbers.

Mr Stevenson said the bill, which is at the first reading stage could be in place by the summer, if it is passed.

Immense damage

He told the BBC Scotland news website: ” I am trying my hardest to get a majority to vote against the amendment, but this is very serious.”

“Pest controllers are extremely alarmed by this as there would be an explosion in the rat and mice population. There is no other way of controlling them.

“The damage they cause is immense.”

Grain store manager, Jim Brown said: “This is potentially catastrophic.

He means catastrophic for humans. Fro the standpoint of the environment what is catastrophic to humans is good for nature!  

The idea seems to be that we should all get used to being more natural. Perhaps that explains the war on Things That Work. If you think about it, the more things don’t work, the more natural we become.

Moe Lane was right to say that these things are done out of spite.

But it’s out of natural spite.