You know what? I have a question that suddenly seems very important. It’s 2014. Why the fuck aren’t there bold, italics, and underline text formatting options on Facebook?

I reiterate: it’s the year two thousand fourteen.

I get that they don’t want the screen exploding in crazy font sizes, screaming colors, and blinking monstrosities, but this is pretty basic stuff.  They’re the three fundamental text formatting options—something word processors have offered since the 80’s for fuck’s sake. So why, people, WHY doesn’t Facebook, which is quite likely the most widely used word processor on planet Earth (think about it), have the classic [B] [I] [U] buttons? AND WHY THE HELL ARE WE PUTTING UP WITH IT?

Anyone feeling the urge to write: “I think you just answered your own question,” in the comments section, feel free not to.