I don’t know why, but I like this useless machine and I would love to own one:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=Djc8FPHs45o

Watching something like that would calm my nerves. (Watching the propeller second hand on my airplane clock actually helps me get to sleep.)

And as I have a couple of old printers that I’ve been too lazy to throw out, I could probably make one if I had the time and patience to study the plans.

Delightfully useless is better than malignantly useful.