Not your typical couch potato…

The stories Drudge links these days! Sheesh.

If you didn’t have a sense of perspective (which I hope most educated Americans have), you might think a few oddball stories are evidence that society is falling apart, or even that your typical American man is a 325 lb transvestite burglar.

…in what will surely repulse Dr. John’s staffers, Perales walked into the manager’s office, removed his clothes, opened some of the merchandise, and “began to please himself anally on the manager’s desk and futon/couch.”

[…]

During his time inside the store, “Perales proceeded to try on female lingerie and experiment with sex toys for approximately two hours,” the complaint notes. When he departed Dr. John’s he was “wearing a dress and blond wig belonging to the business.” He also left with a bag “containing various items belonging to the business.”

Investigators estimate that the items “used and/or taken” were worth between $1000 and $2000. However, cops added, the merchandise “could not be resold and were thrown away as they had bodily fluid on them.”

“Could not be resold”?

Are they kidding? Right now the store could get a lot more for the stuff on ebay now than they ever could have before — because of the lurid publicity!

As to how much collectors might be willing to pay for lingerie soiled by a 325 lb. transvestite burglar basking in Internet fame, I don’t know, but I’d be willing to bet it would be a lot more than it would sell for in the store.  And while they’re at it, they could probably sell the used couch.

I realize there are laws in many states that prohibit criminals from cashing in on their notoriety, but I see no reason why crime victims shouldn’t be able to cash in.

Hell, these stories get hits and drive web traffic, don’t they?