There’s an old saying that you are what you eat. How true that is, I don’t know. But earlier tonight, I enjoyed a salad tossed with lovely wooden salad tossing forks, and while this wouldn’t have been a big deal by itself, something odd happened. I put the salad bowl and the salad tossers into the sink with just a little water, and when I went back to wash them, the water had turned red:

Clearly, the water absorbed whatever stain or dye had been used on whatever wood the tossing forks were made of. Is the wood legal? Damned if I know. But what if the bastards who rule us are somehow forcing the bastards who make money selling to us to stain wood so that it looks like a product that is now banned? I don’t want stained schlocky wood which looks like tropical hardwood but isn’t and therefore leaks into food, OK? I want the old, normal kind of tropical  wood. I want wood that looks like what it is, not wood that is something else but stained to look like what it isn’t.

Sometimes it seems the whole world is going to hell.

While I can’t prove it, I suspect the red staining problem lies with environmentalists who elevate trees over people.

If I’m just being paranoid, someone please let me know. This has never happened before.