This morning I was treated to a marvelous new conspiracy theory, which is being promoted by Spain’s socialist government: “Spain Blames Economic Crisis on ‘Anglo-Saxon’ Conspiracy.”
I try to be thorough and fair-minded about these things, so I thought that the best place to start would be by taking a look at some actual Anglo-Saxons.
They look even scarier than I thought, and I have to say, there might be some truth to Prime Minister Zapatero’s theory.
Behold the dark forces of economic ruin!
And if you think the conspiracy is limited to the men, check out the famous “Armada Portrait” of Elizabeth I, which shows her proudly reveling in Anglo-Saxon triumphalism after her navy crushed Spain.
Does she look like a wicked woman or what?
The resulting fallout has been a conspiracy over the centuries which among other things takes the form of singing the praises of Anglo-Saxon exceptionalism.
As a child, I learned a little poem in order to memorize the incident:
Spain’s Armada, once so great, was sunk in 1588.
I was also taught that the Spanish Inquisition was bad — even though we now know the myth of the Inquisition was little more than another Anglo-Saxon conspiracy theory.
The evil Anglo-Saxons have been at it for a long time, and the current economic conspiracy is only the latest manifestation of a vast, centuries-old Anglo-Saxon conspiracy — more insidious and more ruinous than the Spanish prime minister realizes.
Beware!
UPDATE: This post has been linked by the noted Spanish blogger, José Guardia, who says my post proves Zapatero is right!
Thanks José!
Comments
5 responses to “Beware, the dark forces of Saxonomics!”
Zapatero is worried about too much Saxon violence. (ducks)
You know, being from the area of Portugal I am, it’s garanteed I have British blood. (Well… the Port Wine and all.) And for the last twenty five years, I’ve been married to someone with a lot of anglo-saxon blood. And besides I’ve spoken English primarily for 25 years. I’ve given birth to kids with — probably mostly — anglo-saxon blood. So, how come no one is letting me into the conspiracy? THAT is mean. I want to conspire too. I’m going to sulk until you guys tell me the secret handshake. (And, btw, my husband, when asked, helpfully said “sex, what?” You see what I deal with? Help, help, I’m being oppressed.)
Oh no! Whatever am I to do! I’m part celtic, so I’ve been oppressed by the vast Anglo-Saxon Conspiracy, but I’m part Anglo-Saxon, too.
I’ve been oppressing myself all these years and I never knew it.
Or maybe that’s just because my Viking ancestry was so busy oppressing everything else I never knew I was a victim of a vast hidden conspiracy.
So where are they giving out the memberships for the conspiracy club? I don’t need any more victim of oppression memberships, I have way too many of those already. I swear, they give them out at Wal-mart.
The Angles and the Saxons were actually Germanic tribes from the area which is today Eastern Germany. Spain’s king Juan Carlos is a descendent of Hapsburgs some of whom hail from the same area in Germany. He is also a great, great nephew of Queen Victoria. Maybe they need a new king.
Malvados los Anglosajones. 🙂
Vandals Y Visigoths S?, Anglosajones NO.
Definitely predates the Cuba/Yanqui version.