There’s been talk lately that Russia has its eyes on the Ukraine, and I think I’ve discovered their first move:

Hollywood actor Sylvester Stallone, mighty destroyer of Soviet opponents in the “Rambo” and “Rocky” movies, now plans to advertise Russian vodka.
Russian vodka producer Synergy said on Friday it had signed a one-year contract with Stallone, who will appear in television and newspaper advertisements for the vodka brand Russian Ice, starting September 1.
Sources valued the deal at $1 million.

Big deal, right? I mean, a Hollywood star taking a million dollars to hawk a product? It happens all the time. But there’s something just a little sinister happening here. Just you wait for it:

Stallone — whose film character John Rambo killed Soviet troops by the dozen in Afghanistan and whose Rocky Balboa humiliated Soviet boxer Ivan Drago — will advertise the product under the slogan: “There is a bit of Russian in all of us.”

Not me. And I have serious doubts whether there’s any Russian in the Italian Stallion, either. But let’s hear them out:

“The advertising campaign concept was based on the fact that the actor has Russian roots,” Synergy said in a statement, referring to Stallone’s great-grandmother, Rosa Rabinovich, from the Ukrainian town of Odessa.

Aha! If Stallone’s great-grandmother from Ukraine was Russian, then that means Ukraine is Russian. Do you think I’m paranoid now?
Either that or starved for material.
MORE: Can it be any coincidence that the company is called Synergy, and that Russia has designs on reintegrating former Soviet republics? Synergy is just another way of saying “Workers of the world, unite!”