NEWSFLASH???

If the rumors like these are true, then I might have finally found something I like about Hillary.
It won’t win my vote though, as I don’t believe in identity politics.
Does this finally explain the previously unexplained sex scandal involving the unnamed Democratic candidate which Ron Rosenbaum said was deliberately kept under wraps by the news media?
Should anyone be shocked?
(I mean, it’s not as if there’s anything new about a White House mistress….)
It must be a slow day.
MORE: Honestly, until today I hadn’t heard about “Huma,” described as Hillary’s “body person.” But unbeknowst to clueless me, there’s been a “cult” surrounding her for some time. No, I am not kidding:

But, Really, Is She?
Which gets at another facet of the cult of Huma: She’s something of a mystery, even to the people who have worked in her proximity for years.
Very little is publicly known about her, which of course leaves plenty to talk about. And the rumors abound. According to various accounts from Huma acquaintances interviewed for this story: She’s Lebanese, she’s Jordanian, she’s Iranian, she’s 26, she’s 36, she has two children, she lives with the Clintons.
“No one knows anything about her,” said one political aide. “She’s like Hillary’s secret weapon.”

Hillary’s secret weapon?
How come the dull Republican candidates don’t get to have people like that?
And why has this been getting so little press?
MORE: If I am reading Tom Maguire correctly, this all has something to do with the blended puppy school of, uh, political huma:

I have never had a lesbian affair. Er, or perhaps I’m getting my rumors confused. At any rate, where Huma Abedin is concerned the prospect seems more than usually appealing.

Sigh.
So which is it? Puppy blender or gender blender?
I hate to repeat myself, but now I’m reminded of what I said two years ago:

…what I’m wondering right now is why I can’t be a pre-post-operative female-to-male transsexual trapped in the body of a man, but who, because of pure luck, has no need to go through with the surgery, because I already have male anatomical features (i.e., a woman who wants to become a man but who is by accident of birth already trapped in the body of a man). It would be a terrible hardship (a cruel travesty, even) to make me surgically become a man trapped in the body of a woman who wants to become a man because the man is trapped in her body, if I can shortcircuit the entire process and merely accept the fact that I am already where I would be after surgery back and forth.
I mean, if there can be such a thing as a “male lesbian,” why stop there? If a woman can go from female to male (and can be called a man before the surgery) then why require the male lesbian (once s/he really reaches a deeper understanding of him/herself) to go through one surgery to become female and another to become male? Can’t the process be an internal one?
Well, who’s to say it can’t be?

Certainly not the first first lady’s first first laddie!
I suppose there’s a serious side to this nonsense, because some people will take it seriously.
But if you think about it, isn’t that actually funny?
MORE: The “cult of Huma” has over 6300 Google adherents. (Commonly known as “hits.”)
MYTHOLOGICAL NOTE: The “Huma” is a bird of paradise, not unlike the Phoenix, which brings great luck:

According to Sufi master Inayat Khan, “The word huma in the Persian language stands for a fabulous bird. There is a belief that if the huma bird sits for a moment on someone’s head it is a sign that he will become a king. Its true meaning is that when a person’s thoughts so evolve that they break all limitation, then he becomes as a king. It is the limitation of language that it can only describe the Most High as something like a king.”

Hey, don’t look at me! I’m just quoting Wiki.
AND MORE: I’ve been around for awhile, and I’m still puzzled by the term “body person” as inside trade language. But the HuffPo’s Susan Madrak is indignant that “right-wing blogs” don’t seem to know what she claims to know:

Having just come off a stint as a campaign staffer, I happen to know what a “body person” is. It’s someone who travels everywhere with the candidate. The job description is to take business cards, handle followup thank yous, keep the press out of the candidate’s face, etc. – basically, the all-around non-strategic staffer. They work 18-hour days, and they’re picked on the basis of 1) appearance and 2) how well the candidate gets along with them, since they spend so much time together.

I’ve been involved in a few campaigns over the years, and I’ve never heard the term, but if she says so, then maybe the fair thing to do is ask the other candidates about their “body persons.”
MORE: The “body person” count.
At the present time, I can find no “Giuliani’s body person,” nor “Romney’s body person,” nor “McCain’s body person,” nor “Thompson’s body person.” Frankly, I’m getting a little tired of searching for Republican body persons, and I’m not inclined to Google “Huckabee’s body person,” “Tancredo’s body person,” etc.
But there’s no “Obama’s body person,” nor “Edwards’s body person,” and I’ll stop with “Biden’s body person,” because I’m secretly holding out hope that there is a Kucinich body person.
Of all the candidates, only Hillary Clinton seems to have an actual body person.
If this is common as “Senate parlance” (and “industry speak”) then why does it only seem to appear in discussions of Hillary Clinton and auto body shops?


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8 responses to “NEWSFLASH???”

  1. Daryl Herbert Avatar
    Daryl Herbert

    One thing I don’t understand:
    Huma is attractive, young, classy, fit, and super-hot.
    Hill is old, ugly, cold, unfriendly, and impersonable.
    I could see Huma sleeping with Bill, but not Hill. Not even if it was a 3-way with Bill.
    Why would anyone be attracted to Hillary? Power? Huma’s a powerful woman in her own right. If she’s a lesbian, she’s probably getting it on with (super)models.
    If she ever did have sex with Hillary, I’ll bet she regrets it!

  2. GeoffB Avatar

    This is obviously just a ruse by the Clinton camp to make us think that electing Hillary won’t mean we have to put up with Bill another 4 years. Don’t believe a word of it.

  3. Firma Avatar

    One thing I don’t understand:
    Huma is attractive, young, classy, fit, and super-hot.
    Hill is old, ugly, cold, unfriendly, and impersonable.
    I could see Huma sleeping with Bill, but not Hill. Not even if it was a 3-way with Bill.
    Why would anyone be attracted to Hillary? Power? Huma’s a powerful woman in her own right. If she’s a lesbian, she’s probably getting it on with (super)models.
    If she ever did have sex with Hillary, I’ll bet she regrets it!

  4. Wright Avatar
    Wright

    Pretty well locks up the Rosie O’Donnell vote.

  5. M. Simon Avatar

    The “Cult of Simon” is bigger. 6,850.

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  8. […] I see that Huma Abedin — who became famous and I discussed repeatedly when she was Hillary Clinton’s “body person” — is in the news […]