This November, help implement martial law!

Today’s Inquirer has a fun op ed by James Lileks, “The first 100 days if Democrats win”:

Day 1: Party like it’s 1992; citizenship for all Gitmo detainees; a blanket amnesty; and a “Circle of Healing” ceremony held on the Capitol steps.

I know that’s only Day 1, but I don’t want to spoil the op ed for people who haven’t read it.
Plus, I don’t want to do anything that might upset the plan of angry Republicans to sit the election out.
Otherwise, we might have angry Democrats taking it to the streets, and we can’t have that. Instead, the Republicans should just lose, so they can declare martial law.

Braving the inevitable midnight knock on the door, Lyn Davis Lear, the wife of activist/TV genius Norman Lear, proposed on the Huffington Post blog that angry citizens “take it to the streets” if the sweet anticipated victory is snatched away by the Cheneyburton overlords. Lear quoted Gore Vidal’s dark view: If the election went against them, “the Bush-Cheney henchmen could simply call on martial law.” No doubt. One last election, a few cleansing rounds from the Brownshirt burp guns, and it’s the Reich Stuff for us and our descendants.

As usual, I’m behind the learning curve (although in my defense I will say that Karl Rove deliberately keeps this blog out of the loop), but now I finally understand the Republican secret strategic loss strategy:
The Republicans have to lose!
Otherwise, if they keep winning elections, how will they ever be able to seize control, cancel the Constitution, and declare martial law?
This explains why Bush and Rove are counting on the Republican brownshirts to do their duty to the Bushfuhrer and sit the election out.
(Obviously, if you have been voting Republican but you prefer a one party superstate with complete dictatorial powers, now’s your chance to stay at home and make it happen. Wink wink!)
With any luck, by sitting this one out, you’ll never have to vote again!
But hey, let’s not breathe a word of this to the Democrats, because if they get hip to the Republican brownshirt plan to lose power in order to seize it, they might just try to counter the Republican strategy, by staying at home themselves.
You know, saving the Constitution and all that stuff.
It’s all simple logic, but alas, I don’t think the Democrats will stay at home to save American democracy. That’s because if by staying home they prevent a Republican power seizure, who would ever know that the strategy worked?
They’d just continue to be thought of as a whining minority in a democracy dominated by Republican fascist wannabes (who’d be reduced to Fascist In Name Only status).
Who’d ever thank the Democrats for saving the country?
I realize that no good deed goes unpunished, but it’s a crying shame to see the Democrats squander what may be their last chance to defeat Bush fascism.
UPDATE: Glenn Reynolds is circulating a report that Karl Rove actually wants the Republicans to win. (Yeah, right.) Without revealing his real thoughts about the Rove plan he claims to have “revealed,” Glenn poses a cryptic question:

Will it work? We’ll know in just over a week.

If Glenn’s blatant failure to mention the imminent coup doesn’t frighten the Democrats into not voting, I don’t know what will.