Earlier (via a link I was surprised Glenn Reynolds would dare provide) I read about an amazing claim that I initially hoped was a form of comedy:
Glenn Greenwald is now claiming Glenn Reynolds is anti-gay!
As it turns out, it was deadly serious. Glenn Greenwald in fact claims that Glenn Reynolds is anti-gay, in a long post which some might dismiss out of hand as unhinged, others as funny, but which I think should be treated at least as seriously as Greenwald’s later claim that Republicans who defend gay conservatives against invasions of their privacy are actually anti-gay.
It all sounds complicated, but it isn’t. We have only to look at Glenn Reynolds’ words and actions, and connect the dots.
Let’s start with the Greenwald claim (I’m sorry the link is missing, and for that I blame my internalized self hatred — and this anti-Greenwald bigot):
Reynolds — as is so often the case — is just spouting his own incoherent and deeply irrational thoughts and ugly biases and then pretending to be above them by sitting back analytically and oh-so-knowingly attributing them, with no basis whatsoever, to “voters.”
Yes, that’s exactly what Glenn Reynolds does. And (as Greenwald makes perfectly clear) he doesn’t just limit this to anti-gay bigotry; it’s the standard modus operandi of virtually everything he does.
To give just one example among many, rather than admit to the damning fact that he puts puppies in blenders, Glenn sits back and slyly demurs — attributing the remark to others.
Pretty damning, I’d say. How is it that Reynolds has gotten away with it for so long? Why is it that no one caught on until a distinguished New York litigator from Brazil finally figured this out?
Greenwald explains and elaborates:
It isn’t “voters” who are making a connection between Mark Foley and the issue of whether gay people are entitled to equal treatment. It’s the likes of Glenn Reynolds (cursory support for gay marriage notwithstanding) who are doing that, quite deliberately, in the hope that the old reliable strategy of demonizing gay people will strengthen the cultural tribalism on which they depend and will save them in this election.
The logic is quite compelling, and I’ll follow it out.
By now it should be painfully obvious that it isn’t “voters” who are putting puppies in blenders! It’s Glenn himself, in his bizarre tribal ritual. But the pureed puppies are only a warmup act. After he drinks them, he’s ready to engage in his daily, foam-flecked frenzy of gay demonization.
A typical scenario follows…..
“I’m pro-sodomy,” growls Glenn sarcastically as he wipes the bloody puppy muck from his lips.
Later, asked what he meant, Glenn blames the voters in his typically evasive manner:
“Heh.”
(Which translates into “I don’t really say I’m actually pro-sodomy, but I’m paraphrasing what I’m imagining the voters say.”)
After a brief pause to type another deeply irrational and incoherent post, Glenn grows reflective.
“Fee, fi, fo, fum, bring me my happily married gay couples with closets full of assault weapons!” he cries.
Until Glenn Greenwald’s shocking expose, few of the hapless gay victims of this sinister closet realized that the policy Glenn claims to advocate (but attributes to his imaginary “voters”) is actually a cryptically cynical neocon plot to massacre all gay couples! That’s because according to an overwhelming consensus of social scientists, it is a documented fact that sooner or later, all guns will be used against their owners, and with couples this mathematical certainty rises exponentially until it becomes a double scientific certainty.
Once the gay couples have machine-gunned each other to death, of course, bloodthirsty bigot Reynolds can sneer nonchalantly that “guns don’t kill gays; gays kill gays”!
How much more proof of Glenn’s genocidal anti-gay bigotry do we need than that? Notice how slick he’s being by not openly admitting that he actually favors a massacre of gay couples! Instead, he’ll hide behind the “sitting back analytically and oh-so-knowingly attributing them to the voters” routine. (Or he might even try the more sinister approach of quoting himself as having been quoted as saying it before!)
This is more shocking than I realized, and we should all be shocked.
Really, until today I hadn’t fully understood Gay Demonization To Strengthen Cultural Tribalism, but I think I now know how it works.
It’s simple, really. To activate the process, you have only to disagree with Glenn Greenwald.
UPDATE: I’m not sure how I should interpret the fact that Glenn Reynolds actually linked this post (along with the post that follows), but I should probably thank him before he has me tracked down and massacred by his vigilante squad of right wing extremists.
An equally cautious welcome to everyone!
MORE: I just remembered another reason to be afraid — be very afraid — of Glenn Reynolds.
When he says you’re not gay, he really means you ARE gay!
This sneaky process is called “double reverse outing” and it’s another example of how dangerous right-wing extremists like Reynolds are far more treachous than their counterparts on the left.
Beware!
Comments
17 responses to “The root cause of bigoted Cultural Tribalism”
heh, and double heh.
Indeed.
Here’s the rules:
1) If you are conservative or libertarian, you’re a gay basher.
2) If you are conservative or libertarian and are tolerant of gays, or even in favor of things like gay marriage and domestic benefits, then you are overcompensating for your gay hatred and gay bashing. Your latent homosexuality is then then expressed in other ways, like snarky commments to Greenwald blog posts.
3) Either way, you’re probably gay as all hell.
The only cure is to vote straight ticket Democrat in three weeks.
Thanks for the laugh to start the day Eric. Greenwald, Ellensberg, Ellers, whoever is a moron, and you pointed it out beautifully.
–Jason
Greenwald only has a New York Times Best Selling Book on the Bush Administration and its abuses of power. And he has one of the most-read blogs on the Interent, after 9 months of blogging. And Senators read from his blog at Senate hearings and his posts lead to front-page news stories in major newspapers.
I don’t dispute his success, nor that of others.
Michael Moore had more bestsellers than Glenn Greenwald, numerous big-grossing films, and he sat next to President Carter at the Democratic convention.
In the past, I’ve been known to take him more seriously than I take Greenwald. But I don’t think there’s any rule that success has anything to do with being right, nor does it require me to take seriously ideas I don’t think deserve it.
Reynolds said being anti-gay would be easy but it seems way too complicated to me.
Thomas Mc – And?
Eric,
Thomas Ellers Ryan McEllensberg was a parody. These were variants of his sockpuppet names. But he forgot the essential “GOOD day to you Sir!”
Okay. Let’s see if I get this straight…oh crap! I must be anti-gay!
What the hell does that mean anyway? Is it because I am not gay that thus I am anti-gay? If I am a man does that make me anti-woman, unless I take the all cleansing pill of joining the DNC, am I forever to be burdened with an anti- in front of all my opposite beliefs?
So by definition I am an anti-woman, anti-peace, anti-christian, anti-socialist…
Holy smoke, I am President Amenidijahd of Iran!
Hahahaha… excellent.
It reminds me of the gay quiz that Cassandra linked to on her blog, Villanous Company. Basically, no matter how you answer, you’re Most Likely Gay, just for having taken the quiz.
MY theory? Talking about or thinking about anything gay makes you gay, regardless of what you think you are.
Unless you agree with Glenn Greenwald. Then, you’re free to persue whatever lifestyle you want, you delicious fruit.
I think someone removed a bunch of words from their English dictionaries, or something.
Thanks for taking on that puppy-drinking, anti-gay bigot. We need more people like you and Greenwald and Ellison and Ellensburg to have the courage to speak the truth!
Damn, everybody has to kiss Reynolds’ ass in hopes of getting a “dummylaunch” I suppose. What a bunch of tweebs.
You can’t make this stuff up. OTOH maybe you can.
erm… which party’s trying to ban gay marriage, again? I forget.
I honor you, Frank J.! And I voted for you in Tennessee! I would have voted twice, but the puppy blender had rigged the election machinery so I couldn’t. Fascism!
But no fascism of closets full of dead homos could prevent real democracy! This gigantic grassroots groundswell was a huge breakthrough in democracy that even the puppy blender’s imagination couldn’t stifle.
I think it’s obvious that you really won the election, Frank! But the rigged election machinery (run by who else?) has stolen this stunning victory from you!
But do not despair!
Continue speaking Truth? to Power?!
Demand a recount — and a recall!
erm… which party’s trying to ban gay marriage, again? I forget.
-scarshapedstar
Actually, both parties are against Gay marriage.
One party is honest about it, is all.
Hint: Who signed the Defense of Marriage Act into law?
Don’t forget John Kerry’s statement that he and Bush had “the same position, fundamentally, on gay marriage.”
http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2004/octoberweb-only/10-4-51.0.html
http://www.classicalvalues.com/archives/001706.html
(Not that a remark like that would matter to those who think opposition to gay marriage is Republican bigotry….)