I think we should be glad that this didn’t happen at Guantanamo:

MULTAN, Pakistan (Reuters) – Fateh Mohammad, a prison inmate in Pakistan, says he woke up last weekend with a glass lightbulb in his anus.
Wednesday night, doctors brought Mohammad’s misery to an end after a one-and-a-half hour operation to remove the object.
“Thanks Allah, now I feel comfort. Today, I had my breakfast. I was just drinking water, nothing else,” Mohammad, a grey-beared man in his mid-40s, told Reuters from a hospital bed in the southern central city of Multan.
“We had to take it out intact,” said Dr. Farrukh Aftab at Nishtar Hospital. “Had it been broken inside, it would be a very very complicated situation.”

Um, I mean, I’m glad he’s feeling better, as the whole thing must have been quite an ordeal.
Especially because the man had absolutely no idea how the light bulb got there:

“I don’t know who did this to me. Police or other prisoners.”
The doctor treating Mohammad said he’d never encountered anything like it before, and doubted the felon’s story that someone had drugged him and inserted the bulb while he was comatose.

Drugged penetration while comatose? Isn’t that what the feminists call “date rape”? Never mind politics. The man is a felon and not a jihadist, which means his credibility can be fairly doubted and his motives freely impugned.
How different might the spin have been had the same thing happened at Gitmo . . .
Fortunately, it didn’t. So the angries of the left won’t be carrying on about “suppressed homoeroticism” and cracking jokes like “How many U.S. soldiers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?”