I don’t know which crisis is worse: Pennsylvania’s drought or Pennsylvania’s flood. We’re having both at the same time!
I’ll start with the floods:

Heavy overnight rains, falling on an already saturated landscape, have led to the flooding of streets and neighborhoods around the region.
Although some streets have reopened, such as the Vine Street Expressway, conditions in some areas near rivers are expected to get worse, as they swell with water from tributaries.
Flood-stranded residents had to be rescued in Pottsville.
Trenton Mayor Douglas H. Palmer ordered residents of low-lying neighborhoods to evacuate by 10 a.m. today, because the Delaware River could crest at a level higher than the floods of September 2004 and April 2005.
A reverse 911 call was being sent to residents of Trenton’s Island and Glen Afton neighborhoods. Police had set up a mobile command post and were spreading word of the evacuation door-to-door, said Ken Ashworth, a spokesman for Palmer.

But that hasn’t stopped the drought:

The state issued the drought watch April 11 after a lack of winter snows combined with lower-than-expected spring precipitation. A voluntary 5 percent drop in water use is still urged.

Well, I can certainly use at least 5 percent less water than I have right now. I can’t even walk in the yard without rubber boots, and Coco is having trouble going outside to do her business. Right now, we’re having a few precious rays of sun, but it won’t last. The whole area is soaked, and it couldn’t possibly be any wetter.
My lawn is a swamp; and I’m urged not to water it? Who’s writing the state’s water policy? Rodney Dangerfield?
Being from California, I’m used to insane bureaucrats who declare a flood and a drought at the same time, but I never thought the idea would spread across the country.
But I want to give the bureaucrats a fair shake, and their argument is that considering the state as a whole, March was too dry:

DEP Secretary Kathleen A. McGinty put all 67 counties under the drought watch after rainfall averages across the state were below normal for more than 60 days.
“Two-thirds of our counties are 50 percent or more below their normal precipitation levels,” Ms. McGinty said. “The remaining counties are reporting a deficit of at least 25 percent.”
Western Pennsylvania is still in pretty good shape. After a January that was wetter than usual, Pittsburgh’s rainfall averages in February (1.74 inches) and March (2.12 inches) amounted to about 73 percent of what we usually get.
Erie received about 94 percent.
But the central and eastern parts of the state have been parched, with most areas receiving less than half their usual rainfall. According to John Gresiak, a senior forecaster with AccuWeather in State College, the Philadelphia area had its driest March on record.
“The main culprit was March,” Mr. Gresiak said.

Mr. Gresiak probably never read about the drought of March that “perced to the roote.”
Instead of “smale fowles maken melodyes” now is the time for announcements like these:

“Although conservation is a year-round responsibility, now is the time for residents to manage water resources even more carefully to avoid serious problems if precipitation levels do not return to normal in the coming weeks,” McGinty said.

I’m trying! I’m trying to manage my water resources! Honest!
But I’m worried that at the rate the rains are pouring water resources down on me, I may be at risk of drowning, and I won’t be able to refrain from flushing the toilet.
What is to be done when floods and droughts occur simultaneously? Is there such a thing as a state of bureaucratic emergency?