What did Yasser Arafat die of?
You’d think that in the days of modern interactive media and the blogosphere, that would be a rather straightforward story, but now I hesitate even to use the word rather.
Or how about CANARD? No, really:
The Canard story said doctors realized soon after Arafat arrived that he had “what is called mechanical cirrhosis,” or a severity of cirrhosis that made liver function difficult.
“The most likely scenario is that there were multiple causes of death,” the story said. Arafat’s coma “was caused by the aggravation of the cirrhosis, and the result of that was a hemorrhage.”
Rather hard to argue with the official CANARD!
Welcome to the new era of peace and cooperation in news-gathering, where the official sources and the blogosphere work tirelessly to make sure that no truth is left un-canarded.
Sorry to sound sarcastic, but I’d just like to know what the hell the man died of. For my own curiosity, OK? While it outrages me that this grandfather of modern terrorism was appeased and enabled for most of his career, and I think that giving him the Nobel Prize made about as much sense as it would have to have given it to Hitler, still I think a question as basic as the man’s cause of death ought to be verifiable.
Of does the Arafat myth-making machine continue after his death? If so, why?
I keep reading stories like these speculating Arafat died of AIDS. Without question, death from AIDS is considered the most disgraceful, morally tainted death one can die. It’s fully understandable that Arafat’s enemies would want him to have died of AIDS because it furthers his disgrace. But if it’s untrue, it’s hardly fair to the many good AIDS sufferers to promulgate the idea that AIDS is a disease so associated with truly bad, truly villainous, people. (While Arafat’s bisexuality has been well known for years, that neither proves he had AIDS, nor that he died from it.) And if AIDS is so bad that propagandists will go out of their way to give it to someone who might not have even had it, how does that advance modern medicine or science, or help Third World countries deal honestly with the problem?
But the emerging story right now is cirrhosis of the liver — also not a “good” disease, especially for Muslims.
Allegations that Arafat was a heavy drinker – forbidden in Islam – would have clouded the mourning that began Nov. 11, when the 75-year-old died.
The report that Arafat was suffering from cirrhosis was bolstered by an article in another French newspaper, Le Monde, which said Arafat had suffered from “intravascular coagulation,” a blood-clotting condition that can be a sign of late-stage liver failure and can be consistent with cirrhosis.
Le Monde, citing “very good sources,” reported that doctors could not make an indisputable diagnosis, however, since the blood abnormality “is not a disease as such, but the symptom of a pathology, which in a patient of his age is either of infectious origin or of cancerous origin.” Doctors found no evidence of cancer.
These questions are being asked again and again (with conflicting answers being given each time) and no one — friend or foe of Arafat — is satisfied. As Charles Johnson pointed out yesterday, the Arab press is not satisfied with liver disease as a cause of death, preferring instead to believe that the evil Israeli Mossad poisoned him:
The government stood by its refusal to provide any details, despite speculation among Palestinians that Arafat was poisoned by Israel and a request for more information by Palestinian leaders. Israeli officials deny poisoning him.
It strikes me that the French (who are, after all, supporters of Arafat and directly stand to benefit from his undistributed millions by his wife Suha’s retirement in France) are enjoying their game of cat-and-mouse, and that they might not want to say what killed him. Better to encourage official mythology. AIDS is not a sexy death, nor is cirrhosis — but poisoning by the Mossad? That’s true romance!
Because the French are not stupid, the world may never know the truth. Why, they’re so bad, they might even be able to hide the truth by telling the truth! Example: for the many years during which infamous Nazi doctor Josef Mengele was hiding in Brazil, the world believed he was being hidden in Paraguay. Why? Because Paraguay’s dictator (Alfredo Stroessner, a known Nazi sympathizer with every reason to help Mengele) stated in a very guilty manner that Mengele was NOT in Paraguay! Naturally, he was lying. Or so they thought.
Can the blogosphere ever get to the bottom of this? Or might it be one of those situations where everybody gets to spin his own canard?
I think this calls for an official Yasser Arafat Death Canard-O-Matic.
If anyone has a better explanation, I’m all ears!
UPDATE: While I’m still puzzled over the official cause of Arafat’s death, I’m delighted to discover an official explanation for all the new visitors. Thank you, Glenn Reynolds, for kindly linking this post. Welcome everyone!
I’m honored to be mentioned in the same post which links to these thoughts on Arafat’s real legacy by Austin Bay. It’s a must read, as are these insightful posts by Israelpundit on Arafat’s death and the Mideast’s “shifting sands” approach to homosexuality. (I’m reminded of the sick sheikh’s sixth slick sheep or something….. May Allah forgive me!)
UPDATE: Link added to last update for purposes of clarification.
MORE: Glenn Reynolds’ question about whether credit should be given Mad Magazine made me recall the origin (in the blogosphere at least) of the Canard-O-Matic. When I’d been blogging for just a week, I borrowed the idea from one of the first bloggers to blogroll me, the very talented Mike Silverman, who had applied Mad Libs technology in adapting Stefan Sharkansky’s Canard-O-Matic, originally designed for CanardMeister Robert Scheer.
(Which is the most factually accurate history up with which I can come right now.)
UPDATE: It occurred to me that some of the readers might not be able to (or want to) read the above link to the Philadelphia Inquirer, which requires a subscription. So here’s more about Le Canard — a French satire magazine.
So, why is the cause of Arafat’s death considered satire, anyway?
Comments
16 responses to “Official canard?”
If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it is a duck. Although the NYT editorial page begs to differ as the degree of canardism is too nuanced for any but the experts to decide.
Thanks, Eric! I foresee hours of innocent fun playing with the canard-o-matic!
It’s possible for non-drinkers to have cirrhosis. The facts are known about what actually killed Arafat, but are too gruesome to reveal.
In truth, a porcupine backed up his ass. Not a pleasant way to go.
Try it, kids! Fun for the whole family!
Wandering the blogosphere on my morning coffeeing-up reading rounds I happened upon the Canard-o-matic (possibly via the PuppyBlender). Gotta watch out for that amyl nitrate mixed with crack cocaine on top of Scrapple…it’s a killer!…
Since Arafat was a disgusting piece of biological garbage, my fantasy would be that he were strung up, his skin fillet’d from his muscles as he hangs screaming at the top of his lungs, then his penis surgically removed and repositioned in his mouth so as to appear that he is fellating himself. Then a 1-inch layer of pig fat is applied over his completely exposed muscles before being thrown in the Paris sewer system. That’s what I’d love to see posted as the official cause of death.
I’m pretty sure he went for a sexual reassignment. he’s gonna be one ugly little dudette…he’s switching teams for good.
If Arafat was, to give the benefit of the doubt at the very least bi-sexual, possibly even homosexual, this poses a dilemma for his heavenly reward. Whether he is entitled to either 72 male/ female virgins or both. Allah Akbhar!
Well, I’ve been carefully explaining exactly what’s been going on with the whole Arafat illness/French lying dog doctors since the day they flew Arafat to France.
I believe that the French doctors probably killed Arafat (iatrogenocide) during a diagnostic procedure.
My latest post details why it is illogical to believe Arafat had cirrhosis see: http://codeblueblog.blogs.com/codeblueblog/2004/11/csi_medblogs_my.html
And here is my theory of French malpractice: http://codeblueblog.blogs.com/codeblueblog/2004/11/csi_medblogs_a_.html
and at my site you can also read about the AIDS thesis as well as items about poisoning and parasites…
CodeBlueBlogMD
Well, French medical malpractice would certainly go a long way towards explaining the apparent mythology…
As the saying goes, never look for a complex explanation when simple stupidity will do!
Heh. I believe I did coin the term Canard-o-matic. At least I couldn’t find it in Google at the time that I released the Robert Scheer Canard-o-matic. Thanks for the credit.
I only like to add:
“Arafat is reported to be in stable condition.”
Well, really there is one more thing to add, for those of us old enough to remember:
“Francisco Franco is still dead.”
http://astuteblogger.blogspot.com/2004/11/cause-of-arafats-death-determined.html
Thursday, November 18, 2004
CAUSE OF ARAFAT’S DEATH DETERMINED!!!!!!
ODDLY ENOUGH: Arafat was killed by the same exact thing that killed Pierre Salinger while getting a pacemaker, Princess Diana after her car accident, and 15,000 old French men & women during a heat-wave – French medicine! Oddly enough.
posted by reliapundit at 7:47 PM
Vulgorilla’s suggestion is exactly what I advocate or at least pleasantly imagine. Anyway: The pig-fucker Arafat is DEAD. DEAD. D.E.A.D. Why are we still keeping him alive? Let’s just let him rot.
Arnold Harris of Mt. Horeb, WI., my favorite commenter in Dean’s World, has made an excellent point. The Jewish people, who he knows very well and respects very highly (even while he is himself an atheist), nevertheless have a rather insane custom, at least among the Orthodox.
Here’s a bit of Biblical history: About 4000 years or so ago, while Moses and his people were groping their way in the deserts of the Sinai peninsula, they were set upon by an obscure savage tribe known only as Amalek. The Amalekites slaughtered many of the Hebrews, who returned the favor and wiped out the Amalekites. They killed all the Amalekites, and that would have been that. Except that they not only never forgave the Amalekites, they also never forgot this obscure savage tribe, and they have kept alive the memory of Amalek ever since.
For, every Saturday in their synagogues, Orthodox Jews invoke the hated name of Amalek, curse the hated name of Amalek, and pray to their God that the cursed name of Amalek be erased from history, blotted out from the memory of man.
The irony is obvious. If it wasn’t for this continual cursing of Amalek by the Jews, no one would have ever heard of this obscure savage tribe in some God-forsaken desert, and they would indeed have vanished from all memory.
It’s the same way with the murdering scum Arafat. Why are we keeping him alive? He’s not somebody I enjoy thinking about. And now he’s DEAD. DEAD. D.E.A.D.. Done. Over. Kaput. Finis. Gone from this world. Rotting in Hell. I’m going to just leave him that way now.
I do like these Mad Magazine-style satirical buzzword-generators, though.
Just a thought, Hepatitis causes severe cirrhosis of the liver, especially Hep C, but then that should be relatively easy to diagnose…….