Friday is always Online Test Day at Classical Values, and I try not to disappoint. Not sure how to characterize today’s theme, but the omens seem to be along the lines of cartoons….
and RULES…..
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The first test I found via Glenn Reynolds, who linked to something he called “frightening.” The link indeed led to what is a truly frightening picture of Ralph Nader, directly followed by a link to “What lesser-known Simpsons character are you?” revealing at last for all the world that I am Krusty the Clown!


What lesser-known Simpsons character are you?
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Naturally, I couldn’t stop there. I don’t know much about Krusty, but I did discover the following quote:

“A joke, ah…oh….ok! A man walks into a bar with a small piano, and a twelve inch pianist…..whooaaa hooaaa…I can’t tell that one!!…huh huh huh huh huh!” (when Marge asked Krusty to tell a joke at Selma and SSB’s wedding)

I can’t tell it either!
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Next, Ordinary Galoot kindly supplemented these results with another test — “Which Peanuts Character are You?” — and my results were pleasing:
Pig Pen
You are Pig Pen!

Which Peanuts Character are You?
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I don’t mind being Pig Pen at all.
Actually, there was also a real-life rock star named Pig Pen I always admired. Considered by many to be the original founder of the Grateful Dead (called the Warlocks in their first incarnation), Pig Pen was the band’s lead vocalist in the band back in the days when I first became a Deadhead. The guy had a truly remarkable personality, and I think it is no understatement to call him the most cosmic drunk who ever lived. In those days, the band and the audience tended to be on LSD, but Pig Pen only took acid a few times and didn’t especially like the stuff; instead he indulged in the drug of choice of that gravity-defying god, Bacchus. Either because of or in spite of his juicing, Pig Pen was every bit as in touch with that indescribable extraterrestrial energy which seemed to possess everyone. If anything he seemed more versed in it — even the anchor of it. I really couldn’t call him a “leader” because the whole thing was total anarchy in those days. No security, no clear delineation between audience and stage, anyone could go anywhere and wander about. Just pure, spontaneous, magic. Pig Pen was highly intuitive, self-effacing, utterly charming, exuding what Jerry Garcia called a “pixyish sense of humor.” His down-to-earth aura served as an anchor between a bottom-line reality and the incredible chaos of infinity upon which everyone — band members and audience — reflected in awe. Without judging or owning or controlling. I was in my mid teens, and I’ll never forget those experiences.
So, for today, Pig Pen lives!
(At least he does for the purposes of this post. I’m delighted to have any excuse to breathe some life into this truly remarkable personality. And for a limited time only, you can stream a good Pig Pen song, here.)
I suppose I could also say “Pig Pen rules!”
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Which leads me to my last test.
RULES!
Dave Tepper offered what has to be the oddest test I have yet found in the Blogosphere, “Which Federal Rule of Civil Procedure Are You?
My results?
YOU ARE RULE 8(a)!
You are Rule 8, the most laid back of all the
Federal Rules of Civil Procedure. While your
forefather in the Federal Rules may have been a
stickler for details and particularity, you
have clearly rebelled by being pleasant and
easy-going. Rule 8 only requires that a
plaintiff provide a short and plain statement
of a claim on which a court can grant relief.
While there is much to be lauded in your
approach, your good nature sometimes gets you
in trouble, and you often have to rely on your
good friend, Rule 56, to bail you out.

Which Federal Rule of Civil Procedure Are You?
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Wish they had a picture, but what the heck.
Will this do?
Rules.jpg