End it, don’t amend it!

Now that poor Friederich Hayek has been dragged — over his own dead body — into the gay marriage debate, I think it might be time to regroup, and ask a few basic questions.
Perhaps it is time to think the unthinkable.
Well, because the oppportunist in me knows that if I don’t propose this someone else will, I wish to propose a new Constitutional Amendment.
Ahem.

The Federal Freedom From Marriage Amendment

Marriage in the United States between any two (or more) persons is hereby abolished.
Neither this constitution or the constitution of any state, nor state or federal law, shall be construed to allow marital status or the legal incidents thereof to be conferred upon any individuals, couples, or groups.

That’s right! No more heterosexual marriages in the United States or any of its territorial possessions! Of course, homosexual marriages would also be prohibited — but such is the price we must pay to be free from the terrible national scourge called “marriage.”
Truly, this is an idea whose time has come.
Before you laugh, remember that half of all marriages end in failure, marriage (and its inevitable byproduct, divorce) costs trillions of dollars nationwide, pits the married against the unmarried in an awful class war, causes men and women and children to suffer from endless psychological and emotional problems, causes domestic violence, murder, suicide, child abuse, incalculable human tragedy, and untold numbers of wasted lives.
Marriage is something this country can no longer afford.
The price is too high.
UPDATE: Michael Kinsley proposed privatizing marriage last summer, but why settle for half measures?


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2 responses to “End it, don’t amend it!”

  1. Bill and Kent's Place on the Web Avatar

    Should we end all marriage?

    This is an interesting view of marriage in general. I admit that I’ve often wondered if we would all be better to just abolish marriage at this point.

  2. Steven Malcolm Anderson Avatar

    “Congress shall make no law respecting the establishment of marriage or prohibiting the free exercise thereof…”