I almost forgot the Most Important Thing!
It’s Friday, and notwithstanding Christmas (which seemed to make the entire week disappear), or the fact that today is Boxing Day, it is still Online Testing Day at Classical Values, and the show must go on!
As I’m sure many of you did, I pigged out something awful yesterday, so I think it is entirely appropriate that this first test — “What Kind of Cookie Are You?” — deals with food (and high calorie, fattening food at that).
I’m a snickerdoodle, whether I like it or not:
You are a snickerdoodle.
What Kind of Cookie Are You?

brought to you by Quizilla (Via Susie the Sugar Cookie, who is, not surprisingly, sweeter than I am.)

But lest I start to think of myself as overly sweet and delectable, the next test — “Which Lord of the Rings character and personality problem are you?” — said I was a real asshole:
Congratulations! You’re Faramir!

Which Lord of the Rings character and personality problem are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
(Via Ordinary Galoot.)

Being called an asshole hurt my self esteem, of course. So, to give myself the lift I deserve, I am reporting the excellent results I obtained from the “How Dexterous Are You?” quiz:

I did it in 13 seconds.
I deserved an A!!
Take the How Dexterous Are You? Quiz!!
This came from Ghost of a flea — a man who gives (and grades) more tests than anyone in the blogosphere. There is an honor system among bloggers, and so I had to turn myself in and tell Nicholas that I cheated in taking this test. My punishment has not been announced (yet) and I am hoping he will show mercy! (My cheating was entirely accidental, and therefore not my fault, and I believe I have demonstrated truly heartfelt contrition!)
I won’t say how I cheated, though — because that would spoil the fun! Besides, this is supposed to be a learning process…. The type of cheating I did might even be allowed, but I’ll give you a clue: you do not have to follow the directions!

Finally, the Flea featured another academically oriented test which boosted my self esteem to no end: “What kind of postmodernist are you!?”
I am a Theory Slut:
theory slut
You are a Theory Slut. The true elite of the
postmodernists, you collect avant-garde
Indonesian hiphop compilations and eat journal
articles for breakfast. You positively live
for theory. It really doesn’t matter what
kind, as long as the words are big and the
paragraph breaks few and far between.

What kind of postmodernist are you!?
brought to you by Quizilla
That’s their theory, of course — and only one among many.
Mine are far more complicated and long-winded!
(And I’ll do anything to get you to read them!)