Just because it’s the day after Thanksgiving doesn’t mean it’s not still Friday — and Friday is Online Testing Day at Classical Values so I dare not disappoint!
I’ll start with a test from the esteemed Test Giver, Ghost of a flea, designed to determine my “WEIRDNESS QUOTIENT.”

OUTRAGEOUS! Mine was 106 — exactly the same as the Flea. Not only is this yet another amazing, too-impossible-to-believe, coincidence, but I am a bit disappointed that neither one of us received a higher score. 106 just sounds rather square to me. Never saw the bell curve for weirdness, though.

Still pondering the limitations of my weirdness, I just had to determine exactly what kind of evil bitch I am, and this test did not disappoint:
Sacred SheDevil
You are a witch! You use your magical gift to do
harm to those that get in your way. You may
even be married to a King Queen, which will come in
handy when you need some loyal helpers. Cast

What Kind Of Evil Bitch Are You?
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I must take issue, though, with the notion of my marrying a king, so I took some slight liberties with the technical description above.
(Via a: frustrated: artist — and you’ll have to scroll down, because the archives are not working right now.)

Last but not least, a: frustrated: artist also supplied a test from an old acquaintance, Bishop (at least he used to be called that) Issac Bonewits, a highly respected pagan I met years ago. I had no idea he was in the online test business, and I’m delighted to see that he’s well. First student to graduate from UC Berkeley with a degree in magic; his book, Real Magic is a classic.
Well, so much for a nice introduction. The test — What kind of Druid are you? — left me feeling rejected and insulted!
You are the enemy, and most definently not a Druid!
What are you doing even taking this quiz, you
dirty roman scum?

What kind of Druid are you?
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Hey folks this is modern America! Druids and Romans ought to stick together and cut all this Romophobic crap! I mean, now that I have been called “The Enemy” what am I supposed to do in retaliation? Write a test to determine “What Kind Of A Romophobe Are You?”
Where does all this divisiveness end?
Even on Thanksgiving, no less, some Eurocentric turkeys tried to accuse me of not liking Kraftwerk! (I couldn’t have gotten through the 70s without it.)
Don’t they realize we share similar classical values?