Recent but reliable reports that Al Gore's speeches may be triggering snowstorms and record low temperatures (a still unfolding natural phenomenon known as "Global Coldening") have reminded me of an inconvenient truth about Al Gore -- the criticisms over the years that he's stiff and cold. I understand he's been working at making himself warmer, but if this recent picture is any indication, he still has a long way to go:

OK, there's at least an attempt at humor there. The globe floating above him in the evergreen trees is a wonderful prop. But instead of rising to an occasion which cried out for some fun, he just stands there like the same old stiff and wooden Al Gore. Regardless of whether the goal was to depict him as the world's steward, or just to show him having fun with a globe, either way it fails, because if you look carefully, you'll see that he's allowing the world to fall into someone else's hands! (If you really think about it, that's neither funny or reassuring.)

Normally, I don't like to tell politicians how to entertain, or entertainers how to politick. However, this situation cries out for some sort of treatment. Maybe the phrase is "product placement." Whatever. Al clearly needs help of some kind here, and if I can't offer help where help is needed, what kind of public service am I providing?

Because I don't like to complain about a problem without offering a solution, I thought I would contrast Al Gore's globe-handling with that of the great Charlie Chaplin. Here was a guy who knew how to behave around a globe. He didn't let it sit there while he stared at the camera with a slight Mona Lisa-type smile. On the contrary, he interacted with it.

Please bear in mind that what follows was Chaplin's comedy, and I do not mean to suggest or imply that Gore (whether he means to be a comedian or not) is in any way comparable to either Charlie Chaplin or the fictitious character the latter was portraying. The goal here is simply to offer a few acting tips to Al Gore, and he can take them or leave them.

My point is that if you're trying to show the world you save it, you have to show the world you mean business -- even if you're trying to be funny and light about it. Standing there stiffly while the world falls into the hands of a stranger is neither meaning business by taking control nor is it funny and light.

Contrast that with the Chaplin approach. Right away, he zeroes in and transfixes the globe with a serious stare -- as if to let it know he means business!

In today's parlance, the above is called "thinking globally." (But I'm sure Gore understands that, so I'll skip the pedantic lecture.)

However, as Chaplin made clear, it's not enough to just think globally. The goal is also to change the world! Which means you have to show the world that you know how to handle it!

That you can stand up to the task of taking the world in your hands:

That you're willing to sit down in order to work the world's problems out:

That no matter what it takes, you'll really get down!

And if the business of the world requires it, you won't hesitate to butt in:

Personally, I prefer a more hands-off approach where it comes to building a better world, but I heard that Hillary pays conservative bloggers not to run her ads, so I'm hoping that Gore will pay me not to help him anymore.

(Seriously, isn't being paid not to do stuff part of the American way?)

MORE: Lest I be accused of unaccountability (or worse, hypocrisy) by attempting to hold Al Gore to a standard higher than that which I impose on myself, I went out into the freezing weather and tried to hold the whole world in my hands.

As you can see, it is not an easy task:

In this weather, it's more than inconvenient.

It's downright unsustainable!