Hey, my supposed "research assistant" Justin Case made me put that little thing on the lower left about extending the life of a mouse.

I already know how to extend the life of my mouse: you regularly take out the little rubber ball, and clean the rollers with an alcohol-soaked Q-tip!

There, Justin! You think you're so smart, don't you? Telling me to post links to stuff that you didn't think I knew about?

Justin Case does all kinds of things like that. Last year he made me buy ammo on National Ammo Day for guns I don't even have -- and at a gun store that had never heard of the idea! (I wasn't yet blogging, so I had to explain that there was someone named Kim Something-or-Other who thought up the idea, and the guy just stared at me cluelessly. This year I'll try a different store, and they'll get an informed lecture from me.)

Justin Case made me start reading blogs (he had me reading InstaPundit before most of the blogs were born), eventually hounded me into blogging, even though he refuses to blog himself, despite the fact that he was told by one of my readers said he should start his own blog. Justin lives hundreds of miles away, and so I hardly ever see him. (What to do when your favorite people live hundreds of miles away is a tough question.)

He's really mean, and he never posts anything anymore.

Not even when the subject is the latest nonsense from Leon Kass.

Justin and I had a mutual friend (a fiend to many), whose father once demanded to know, "What are you? A man or a mouse?!"

(The answer was a defiant, "I'm a mouse!")

I fear posing the same age-old mouse question again....