I get asked for money on a regular basis, because I live in Ann Arbor, where all sorts of “homeless” (a word I use reservedly, as many of them are in fact homed) people congregate, and various panhandlers make a living asking passersby for money. I am quite accustomed to being accosted and treated to stock phrases like these:
Hey, can you help me out with some money to ride the bus?
Except the guy says that all day and never gets on the bus. And every time I walk past him he asks me for money for the bus.
Or,
Sir, please! I need some money for food!
I have no objection to charitably inclined people helping to feed the hungry, and I wouldn’t mind giving someone some change if I thought it was really going to be spent on food, but something about seeing the same guy collecting money from strangers in the same spot an hour later, and then going into the liquor store has a way of activating my bullshit detector.
Another common ploy (difficult if not impossible to verify) is the claim that the panhandler is a veteran. For years, derelicts have been raking in cash by claiming to be homeless veterans when they are neither. First it was Vietnam, now it’s Iraq.
Then there’s the gas can scam. The other day a pretty young girl with an empty gasoline accosted me at the gas pump and told me she had run out of gas and needed money to buy gasoline so she get home. Feeling charitable while I was fueling, I figured I could spare some gasoline, so I took her can and put some gas in. This made her eyes narrow (as if I was messing with her routine), and she launched into a complex tale of woe about how she needed much more gas because she lived many hours away and so what she really needed was MONEY! At that point, my slower-than-usual bullshit detector finally went off, and I refused to “help” any further. A couple of hours later, the “gas can girl” was still there. I suspect she has a boyfriend somewhere who is working in cahoots.
If I had time to play detective, it might be fun to call these people’s bluffs, by conditioning the offer to help on verification of the story. Years ago one of my friends did just that in Berkeley. A man told him he was from Vallejo, California and out of gas and needed five dollars to get to his mother’s house in time for Thanksgiving. My friend (who had nothing better to do) said, “If you can prove you are telling the truth, I will give you five dollars. In fact, all you need to do is show me ID that says you’re from Vallejo, and I will give you five dollars.”
“Aw maaan! My driver’s license is in my car, and it’s six blocks away!” came the response.
“That’s OK. I have time. I will walk with you to your car, and when you show me your driver’s license that says you’re from Vallejo, I will give you five dollars.”
At this the man exploded with rage.
“FUCK YOU, YOU CRAZY ASS MOTHERFUCKER!”
Which my friend took as an admission he wasn’t really from Vallejo, and had no intention of getting home to mom.
The reason I am recalling such nonsense is a story Drudge linked earlier about two women arrested for saying they wanted money for a baby funeral:
MODESTO, Calif. (CBS13) – Two women were arrested after allegedly begging for donations to pay for the funeral of a dead baby that doesn’t exist, authorities said.
The Modesto Police Department said 27-year-old Tiffany Lyon of Modesto and 20-year-old Chasity Doll of Sun City stood near busy intersections over the weekend with a sign of a baby boy and asked motorists to help pay for costs associated with his death.
Officers responded to an intersection near Vintage Faire Mall on Saturday after drivers reported that the two women were entering the roadway to collect the donations, creating a traffic hazard.
Lyon and Doll told two officers that their son, Justin Michael Farrell, died at a Modesto hospital on June 6 from a heart condition while they were on vacation.
When officers asked for specific details about where the child died, the doctor’s name, or the child’s city of birth, the women evaded the questions, authorities said.
After an investigation proved the women were lying, the women (who had collected $640) were arrested for “taking money under false pretenses and conspiring to defraud the public.”
Well, if it is a crime to lie to people in order to get money, then a lot of panhandlers could be arrested. Isn’t asking for money for food or gas when it’s really for liquor just as fraudulent as saying you want it for a funeral?
Anyway, I find the antics of these people just plain annoying. I’d have more respect for them if they just told the truth and said something like:
“I’m an alcoholic, and I need some booze. Could you spare some money to help enable me?”
Or “I’m a victim of the war on drugs. Could you spare a couple of dollars to help support my overpriced illegal drug habit?”
Hell, I might even say, “You’re one of the most honest panhandlers I have ever met. Here’s five dollars!”
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The Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler
Don?t bang your head!
15 Comments until now
I was working in Hartford for a few months and was staying at a hotel across from the state capital. As I walked around the area, going to eat, work etc… there were many homeless asking for money.
I was never asked for money because of the look I gave them as I walked by. Being 6’3″ and 250 lbs probably helped. They would however gang up on women, blocking their path etc… trying to scare them into giving money.
On a 10 below zero day, I went to a party store to buy some cognac. The older homeless guys hung around the store just down the street from the arena where the Hartford Whalers used to play. Being close to Christmas, I decided to buy them some cheap vodka. I gave each of them a pint of some rot gut and they were thankful.
My wife came to Hartford to be with me for Christmas. The homeless guys that I gave the booze to saw me with my wife several times and were friendly saying Merry Christmas. I introduced them to my wife.
When I went to work my wife would do things until I returned to the hotel.
One day she was walking past some homeless when two confronted her for money. Again not letting her by etc.. My wife said out of now where came six homeless guys, the ones I purchased the vodka for. The ones confronting my wife ran off. She was then escorted back to the hotel.
When I heard what took place, I went looking for the ones that confronted my wife. I asked the party store homeless where those other guys hung out at. I looked but I could never find them.
On Christmas eve I bought six bottles of good vodka and gave them the booze for helping my wife get away. They refused the booze and said they may be homeless and drunks but they were not crooks and were glad to help. They eventually took the booze after I forced it on them.
A few days later my wife saw on the news that the two guys who confronted her were found dead in the street by Hartford PD. I guess they confronted the wrong woman or the other homeless killed them. Either way the streets were safer for women to travel.
I was south bound on I-5 and saw a light green station wagon in the rest area with the hood up and in the back window written with white shoe polish; ‘Need Help’, a guy was looking around like he was lost while his apparent wife was coddling a baby.
I spent the night in Sacramento and the next day the same car, guy, girl and baby were in the I-5 rest area….on the North bound side.
Reminds me of the woman at a southern Oregon rest stop who’s been asking for gas money to “get away from her abusive husband”… for months at a time.
As far as I know she’s still pulling that scam; dozens and dozens of people travel up and down the corridor scamming for donations at rest stops with various lies.
(Which is a real shame because the occasional honestly stranded person won’t get a helping hand from anyone aware of this behavior.)
I live in Philadelphia. About 10 years ago I was walking to my car when I noticed a young couple near the main entrance of a major hospital looking very upset. As I approached them, the woman came up to me and said “Oh Sir, can you help us?” “My little boy was in an accident and when they told us he was in the hospital we naturally assumed it was this one, but instead he is in XYZ hospital (about 5 miles away)and we have no money left to get a cab or bus there.” “Of course I’ll help you.” I said. “My car is right there (pointing to it parked about 10 yards away). “Hop in and I’ll take you both to the front door of XYZ. You’ll be there in 5 minutes.” “Oh…that’s OK.” she said. Then the guy jumped in. We don’t want to put you out, we just need 5 dollars to take a cab there. That would be the quickest way.” “No, actually my car would be quicker because I think you’ll need more than $5. for a cam and my car is right here and you don’t have to pay me when you get there. You can jump out and find your son.” They started to walk away. The guy said “What an asshole.” I followed them for a few yards and asked if they were ashamed of themselves for fabricating such a story just to get money from people. I got the “F*ck you!” from both of them. I stayed there for a few minutes and waited for them to try their “trick” again. They did. And I walked up in the middle of their speil and told the person they were talking to what exactly was going on. She stepped away when the guy threated to kick my ass. I told him “If you touch me, you’ll be glad you’re standing outside a hospital.” They walked away. I waited until they were out of sight, then got in my car and left. I felt so good.
I had to laugh at the Berkeley story. Many years ago as I walked down Telegraph ave, a little fellow about 5’3″, and 120 lbs. soaking wet came up to me with jutting jaw, elbows out, and while leaning forward, said, “I’ll wrestle you for a quarter!” I laughed, and said, “Man, your creative bit is miles away from the norm. Here is a dollar.” What was so funny is, I’m 6’4″, and weighed 220 lbs..
What do I need money for?
Dental work.
New Glasses.
A Dresser.
What will I spend the money on?
Dental work.
New Glasses.
A dresser.
Visit Mythusmage Opines for the tip jar.
I usually keep McDonald’s gift certificates in my glove compartment in case I come across a beggar (sorry if that word is offensive, but it’s accurate). If they’re truly hungry, they’ll be able to get some food (and there’s a McDonald’s nearly everywhere). If they’re not actually hungry, they can’t really get cash out of it unless they buy something at McDonald’s.
Or “I’m a victim of the war on drugs. Could you spare a couple of dollars to help support my overpriced illegal drug habit?”
Sorry, but I don’t consider people with self-inflicted wounds to be real victims.
Many years ago when I was a poor student washing dishes on weekends to pay for tuition, I took a vacation day to NYC after the semester was over. I hitched at least part of the way.
A panhandler in NYC gave me the line that he was a soldier stationed at Fort Dix, needed $ for bus fare as his wallet had gotten stolen, and he would pay me back etc.
I gave him some money. When he started asking for more money than I knew it would cost for a bus ticket to Fort Dix, I stopped handing him money.
As I suspected he would do, he never paid me back.
Some may consider that money wasted. I considered it money well spent, as I no longer had any guilt towards walking by panhandlers.
I will occasionally give food to panhandlers- maybe once every three or four years. Never money, as that may go for drugs- legal or illegal.
A while back someone knocked on the doors of our complex needing a gas can. His car had run out of gas, and he needed a gas can to take to the nearby gas station.
It just so happened that I had a big gas can I wanted to get rid of, so I offered him the gas can.
“My Saab doesn’t fit that gas can. Could I have some money for gas?”
No dice.
I have a problem with giving money to random beggars for the same reason we all have problems with picnickers who give food to wild bears. It’s a bad idea.
If you really want to help the homeless, find an inner city mission — attached to a real church — and donate to them. They know their constituents, who’s really in need and who’s a malingerer. Your money will go a LOT farther.
M
I worked as a cashier at a convenience store and a clerk at a liquor store. I can assure you the guy/gal you are giving a couple of bucks to has more cash on him than you have.
The “homeless” come into nearby businesses and turn in their change and small bills for big bills so the money will fit in their pockets. How would you like to walk around with $80 in coins?
The “bum” that cashed in $80 in coins then went out of the store and started hassling the customers because he needed “a little change to get a sandwich.” I chased him off and told him the next time I saw him he’d get “trespassed” by the cops.
“I’d have more respect for them if they just told the truth and said something like . . . .”
That actually happened to me once. A man approached my car at a red light and said, “Sir, I’m too drunk to drive home. Will you give me some money for bus fare?”
Got hit up by a guy in Seattle who needed money for the bus because he only had 50 cents and bus fare was $1.50. The bus driver kicked him off, he told me. I told him, just tell the driver he was broke.
I felt safe telling him this because I know a Metro bus driver who regularly complains about the fact he has to let ANYONE on the bus, because Metro and King County’s rules say, let the passengers ride whether they pay or not. And it’s generally the obnoxious ones who claim to have no money, yet want a ride. And he has to give it to them.
[...] cannot stop thinking about a comment to my post about panhandling. According to commenter John, no one using public transportation in Seattle can be required to pay [...]
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