Reigning cats or dogs?

As I was reminded in an earlier comment that the focus of this blog really ought to be on dog blogging, and as Coco has been deeply concerned (if not actually offended in the true sense) by some of the blatant cat blogging which has been going on at her site recently, I thought it might be time to point out a few obvious differences between cats and dogs.

Via Glenn Reynolds, I learned about “the most emailed “New York Times” piece ever.” It documents that while cats may be able to sit near computers, dogs are learning how to use them.

For the last two weeks, Anna has been spending more time than usual with José de Sousa Saramago, the Portuguese water dog she named after her favorite writer. (If José Saramago bears an uncanny resemblance to Bo Obama, the First Pet, it’s no coincidence: the two dogs are brothers. Anna’s father was an early fundraiser for Barack Obama; José Saramago was a gift from the President.)

Anna takes José Saramago’s paw in her hands and whispers in his ear. He taps the iPad and the web browser opens. José Saramago gives a little yelp.

“It’s entirely conceivable that a dog could learn simple computer functions,” says Dr. Walker Brown, the director of the Center for Canine Cognition, a research facility in Maryland. “Word processing, e-mailing, even surfing the web: for many dogs, the future is already here.”

This will not come as news to the many fans Coco has here, who have read about her numerous abilities — which include blogging (compare that to sitting idly on shelves next to a computer), driving (although as I admitted, the learning process was tough), astute political analysis of telephone ring tones, proficiency with — and knowledge of — firearms, classical scholarship, and a long list of accomplishments and skills which would be considered impressive for a human being. 

Much as I hate to repeat myself, Coco has reminded me that human memories do tend to fade with time, so she worries that recent readers who have been coming here and seeing hordes of feline invaders might tend to forget. So I would be doing Coco an injustice if I failed to quote from the above:

Accomplishment-wise, Coco is ahead of most dogs. While I don’t like to brag about her excessively lest she develop a swelled head, I had a chance to review some of her many accomplishments today, and I have to say, she could cobble together an impressive resume.

Not only has she reviewed and tested a number of dog toys, gourmet foods and chocolates, but Coco has tested a number of human consumer products and gadgets. Beyond that, she’s dabbled in many different fields, including science, politics, diplomacy, engineering, organizing, art and writing. I think she has gone far beyond the normal canine call of duty by any standard.

While her career so far spans less than three years, she has tested a shredder which doubled as fax machine in the heat of litigation, strange cell phones which didn’t impress her much, Carlsberg beer and Danzka vodka in solidarity with Denmark (which did).

As a consumer advocate, Coco tested the design of a car trunk, and she unearthed what I initially thought was a buried gas cylinder but which turned out to be deadly WMDs.

A ferocious Second Amendment advocate, Coco believes in standing up for her rights, and actually took on the very nasty James Wolcott in a political debate. While Coco has been known to have nightmares about Democrats, she need not worry. For, despite a size disadvantage, Coco bested Hugo Chavez and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad in a political debate.

As an naturalist and environmentalist, Coco has debunked false nature claims on bumperstickers, has dissected owl pellets, conducted ecological research, dabbled in mycology, and as a climatologist Coco actually challenged Al Gore to set an example on the offsets issue, and then decided to go the denial route before working a “coldening” miracle of her own.

In the cultural area, Coco’s accomplishments include being a Valentine Queen, a film reviewer, an accomplished artist, a lighting consultant, and accomplished online music critic! Little wonder she has hosted international guests at least twice!

As longtime readers know, Coco has repeatedly tried her hand at blogging, and she was even dragged into Al Franken’s Air America war as a product endorser.

And remember, Coco is a dog!

Notwithstanding her obvious superiority, Coco wants to let it be known that she favors a policy of civility in these matters, and is against fueling any sort of climate of hate. She considers the traditional animosity between cats and dogs to be grounded in unfortunate stereotypes often promulgated by unthinking humans. In fact, she has many times gone out of her way to try to get to know cats better, but they often arch their backs at her, spit, snarl, and run rapidly away — obviously because they have failed to overcome the residual legacy of the bigotry from the past.

So Coco is against catophobia and for tolerance.

[Hmmm… Perhaps I should say “cat-o-phobia,” so as not to offend anyone at the CATO Institute.]

And while she might accept the principle of equal opportunity, she does not think that means equality of result. I mean compare and contrast this:

With this:

All of the above notwithstanding, I would be less than candid if I did not admit that the recent spate of cat-blogging might make a majority of the members of my household feel deeply threatened. 

I refer to my seventeen fish — every one of which has reason to believe that these — and all — cats constitute a clear and present danger to them. To illustrate their vulnerability, watch as my fish come right up to — and even leap at — my hand as I extend it down through the top of their uncovered aquarium. 

So while Coco is not threatened, I really can’t blame my fish if they feel vulnerable.

MORE: Let anyone think either I or my dogs have it in for cats, they have a long history of peaceful coexistence, as this picture of Puff with a kittie in 2004 will attest!

This means that Euclid, D’Artagnan, Miranda, and Havelock (especially D’Artagnan and Havelock, who are probably reading this post!) can consider themselves welcome.

Coco is overwhelmed and outnumbered. (Plus, I often suspect she’s part kittie herself…)